Saturday, April 01, 2006

Guest Blog

1 APR 06

Editors Note: Occasionally, I allow other’s to guest post on this here blog. Today’s guest is extra special because we both got something out of it. As a physician, I have a unique perspective into poker, but I rarely need my doctoring skills. Today’s guest needed a favor, and I was happy to comply.

Live blogging the drunk… day at the hospital

6:30 am – What the hell kind of time of day is this? Who the fuck gets up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work? I need a shot of SoCo. If it wasn’t for the free shit, this whole guest-post experiment would have to wait until a more reasonable hour – like noon.

6:35 am – Cute nurses. Hmmm… I may have to hold judgment for a bit.

6:40 am – Cute nurses asking me to undress. Even better.

6:45 am – The CAT scan table is kind of cold, but I’m kinda digging the whole “let’s play doctor thing.” Hey, what’s that tube for?

6:46 am – “You’re gonna put that WHERE?”

6:47 am – Unnnnh. Nnnnnhhhhh. Ggggghhhfffff…. Did you put that barium in the fucking fridge before you squirted it up my ass?! You people are sick!

6:50 am – Whirring noises. Table moving. My tongue is fuzzy, and not in a good way. Who the fuck is laughing out there? I’d swear I just heard someone say the ass-tube wasn’t necessary for this exam. You’d better be fucking kidding!

7:20 am – I just spent the last 20 minutes shitting out white satin paint, and I know I’m not even close to done. I’m walking like I’ve been riding a horse and I can hear a faint squish. Ooohh, that’s not good.

7:50 am – So, my liver looks good. Well, technically, the good Dr. Chako says it looks like shit, but it’s still there, so I’m calling it a wash. Now I’m headed back to Chez Chako for a beer and a nap. Does anyone have some Excedrin?

Squish. Squish. Squish.

And so, the guest post ends almost as soon as it began. Thanks to Al for the experience. I’d don’t think Chez Chako will ever be the same. And, thanks again to Drizz for the cool idea.

3 comments:

Huge Junk said...

That's some pretty vivid shit you wrote there, pun fully intended.

AlCantHang said...

Ouch. Sounds very painful. I'll have to get that out there for everyone to see.

Well done.

Hunter said...

Hi Dr. Chako,
Since I've been locked away on a cruise ship, I've only had the last 24 hourrs to catch up on your blogs. There was some interesting stuff. However, the one that stopped me in my tracks was the one written by your guest blogger. I was a little confused, not knowing whether or not the author was a doctor, a patient, or both. That being said, he did manage to paint a picture of patient care that I'm still trying to clear out of my mind.

All in all, it put a smile on my face that still lingers even as I write this comment.

Hunter

P.S. who was that masked man?