Omaha and the Bash

I suck at Omaha8, but I sure do like saying, "Nut-Nut." I've gone weeks without even seeing a nut-nut, and I had three of them in 45 minutes. Drizz would be so proud.

Still, I was only playing O8 because I was waiting for a seat at 8/16. When I finally got the seat, I donked off $200 of my O8 winnings before buckling down and winning it all back. It was weird not being the most aggressive person at the table. I totally had to switch gears and play good, solid poker for a change.


The Bash. It's legendary. I must admit I've considered going, but never seriously. But now, after getting called out by Al, The Wife and I are looking at plane tickets and reservations. We still aren't sure our schedules will totally mesh, but we might actually make this work.

Google Ads

My poker bankroll was dwindling, so I was looking for ways to generate extra income I could use exclusively for poker. The Wife gets a little pissy when I use family money - go figure.

Anyway, I put Google Ads on my page and waited for the cash to roll in. And roll in it did! So far, I have made a grand total of zero dollars and zero cents. Look out Bellagio - I'm a-comin'!

I know many of you monetize your blogs. Good for you. I'm a moron and can't figure it out. If one of you can set this up for me, I'll guarantee you a percentage of anything I make. In the mean time, the only thing the Google Ads have been good for are some amusing ads based on the content of the current post. My last post about the Magic Cone gave me this ad:

Female Urethra Play

Signs & Symptoms of Incontinence Female Urethra Play Articles & Pics

Please don't click on the link. Or maybe you should. Who knows, it could be entertaining and I might get paid!

Magic Cone

A female friend was seeking revenge and spit on someone's car. I mentioned that, based on the offense, peeing in the gas tank would provide a higher level of satisfaction. Of course, being a girl, that's not really an option, right?

I present to you, without further comment, the Magic Cone.

Craps Doctor

August 19, 2008

Ben runs our racquetball league. He’s quite good at the game and (to hear him tell it) was ranked #1 or 2 in Washington state in the Masters Class (>35 years old, I think). When he’s not playing racquetball or working his day job, he’s shooting craps at either the Muckleshoot or at the EQC (Emerald Queen Casino). He talks a big game and sometimes when he gets started on his topic of the day, I’ll just smile and nod along. It’s not that I think he’s full of shit. He’s actually a fun guy and very enthusiastic about everything – especially all the cute women in the gym.

Anyway, one day he mentions that he’s headed over to his buddy’s house to practice throwing dice. Huh? Sure enough, several of his buddies have tables set up in their houses for the express purpose of practicing betting patterns and also to practice either throwing 7s or not throwing them, depending on whether the point is established or not. These home games are not for money. Turns out we have our own version of the MIT blackjack team, only here it’s craps.

Again – take this with a grain of salt. He claims that his best run was 52 consecutive winning sessions at the craps tables. This is preposterous of course, but it got my attention. When he started talking about bankroll management and when to walk away, he was talking my language. He explained the basics of the betting strategy, and it makes sense. Of course, the odds are always in the house’s favor, but the way he bets would tend to give him the best chance for profit. If he’s really able to improve the odds with all his “practice,” perhaps he’s onto something.

I may have to try it. It sure can’t be any worse than my terrible run at the poker tables.

Michael Phelps

August 17, 2008

Blatantly stolen from another forum I read (which was certainly stolen from Chuck Norris sites):

Michael Phelps only swims through the water because he considers walking on top of it too pretentious.

And this…

Superman wears Michael Phelps pajamas.

And if you are bored, check out the Wikipedia page on Mark Spitz. I learned a few things.

The Promised Poker Content

August 15, 2008

But first...

The prize was just awarded in the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening sentence to a nonexistent novel. You’ll have to click through to see the winner, but my personal favorite was 3rd place:

"Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater -- love touches you, and marks you forever."

-- Beth Fand Incollingo, Haddon Heights, New Jersey

So, I was reading Card Player while waiting for a seat in my new favorite game at the Muckleshoot (1/2 spread limit). If you are wondering where all the bad Party Poker players went, look no further than Auburn, WA. Anyway, in the article there is an online player (FU_15) who was discussing a particular hand. He said he had three pieces of information that he used regularly: starting stack sizes, position and metagame.

I’ve not heard the term metagame before, but I like it. Basically it means – what is your table image? Are you able to talk people into making bad decisions? Have people played with you before and do they think they know your betting patterns?

I’m playing fairly loose, but it’s a very friendly table (Mike Caro says these are the most lucrative), and I’m having a little fun asking trivia questions while not in a hand (bonus question – what is the first thing Rocky says to Adrian after he beats Apollo Creed and calls her up to the ring?), and I’m leading out with prime numbers.

I look down at pocket Aces and ask the table to give me a prime number. The 6 seat says, “17.” “Okay,” I reply. “I bet $17” (remember, this is a ½ game). I get called by the 4 seat and we see a flop of K-Q-6. She checks and I bet $23 (another prime number). She calls. The turn is a blank. I bet $43. She hems and haws a little before folding and I show the table my Aces.

The very next hand I’m dealt pocket Kings. Once again, I ask for a prime number. The 1-seat, a young internet player with little experience in live cash games says, “7.” “Okay, I make it $7.” Four of us see a flop of Q-Q-4. It checks around to me and I bet $23. It’s a good bet – about ¾ of the pot. If someone has the queen I can get away easily. 1-seat gets a little jumpy and says, “How much? $23? Okay, I guess I call.”

I’m now done with this hand. He at least has A-Q, and probably something more like Q-10.

The turn is a King. Angels are now singing all around me.

How do I get value here? I decide to slow play (something I rarely do anymore), and check. He checks behind, but very quickly. Please let him have Aces or K-Q!!!

The river is a blank. I check my cards once again to throw him off a little. Then I ask, “How much will you call?” He laughs and says, “$127.” I reply, “That’s an excellent prime number! Okay. $127!”

To his credit, he didn’t go all-in. He still had $50 behind, but he just called and turned over pocket 4s for the flopped full house. I dragged a nice pot.

Metagame. I’ll have to work on that.

Fail

August 15, 2008

Waffles turned me onto the Fail Blog. Today’s entry is hysterical and wrong on so many levels.

Today’s Fail

Next up – actual poker content.

I Want to Work for Dr. Chako

August 13, 2008

I’m probably going to get in trouble with The Wife for this post, but who knows? She’s surprised me a few times lately and may actually go for my latest scheme.

I was flipping channels during commercial breaks for the Olympics (BTW – America needs Michael Phelps, discuss amongst yourselves), and I saw an ad for a new show called, “I Want to Work for Diddy.” Faithful readers may remember that I got invited to a private party with Diddy a few years ago. We were hanging.

The idea of a Personal Assistant is interesting. The Wife and I both come from backgrounds where, while not dirt-poor, we didn’t have much. Now that we both make a decent living we have gotten used to certain conveniences. We are on our second Au Pair. The kids spend a little time in before and after school care when they aren’t in school. Debbie cleans our house every Friday (and I challenge anyone to come up with a better housekeeper than Debbie).

During the $5000 mixed hold ‘em coverage on ESPN, they mentioned that one of the 21 year old players had a personal assistant. I wonder what they get paid and what they had to do to get hired. The Wife and I joked a couple of times that a household manager would be a good thing to have. There are tons of little projects that need attention, but we just never seem to get around to them - often times with dire circumstances (i.e. when I started my corporation, I neglected to pay my Federal Excise tax on time and got a nice little penalty for it). I don’t need someone to shadow me around like a celebrity, but having someone on-call to make dinner plans, do filing and make travel arrangements would be useful. And of course, someone would have to set up the limo to the strip clubs when we go to Vegas, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I checked on the Wikipedia page:

The Personal Assistant job is associated with two contradictory images. The first is that it is an easy, fun, and glamorous position, granting access to the friendship and luxurious lifestyle of celebrities and high-powered or wealthy people. The other is that personal assistants are merely unskilled "gofers" who perform menial and degrading tasks.

My PA would definitely need to be okay with the menial and degrading tasks, and the glamorous stuff would be few and far between. The pay would be atrocious (at least compared with Diddy).

Come to think of it, who would possibly want this job?

All Alone

Well, it finally happened. The Wife left me. Of course, it was for a woman. I always suspected there was something fishy when it was her who suggested we all go out to the strip club in Vegas.

Actually, she is pulling a classic Thelma and Louise with her new-found bestest friend Betty Underground, as they drive their awesome hunk-magnet mobile (honestly, a Prius???) from California to Montana. The little messages from her new Crackberry have been interesting...

So that leaves me and the boys to fend for ourselves. Of course, we have our new Au Pair (Paola) to help out, too. She's awesome and the boys seem to really like her. The transition from Tati to Paola was very smooth, at least on our end. Tati is having a rougher time of it in Florida. I hope things work out for her - she's a really good kid.

I haven't played poker in forever. I got out to the Ironhorse Casino to meet up with Easycure and his lovely wife who were in town for just a couple days. Zeem was out there too and I think I bought a round of drinks before running for the exit in order to yack in the parking lot. That's the first time I've ever not finished my drink. Still it was good to see the gang. Hopefully we'll do it again soon.

And to my one (or maybe two) reader(s) out there who care, I went with the Laco watch. Hopefully I'll have pictures as soon as The Wife shows me how to use the macro function on her camera. Of course, she'll have to come back first...