For those that care to notice, I briefly put a message on my Google Chat profile that said, "l o s t . . ."
I'm not sure why I put it there. Maybe it was a cry for help. There really is no help anyone can offer because I don't have a specific problem. In fact, you could argue that I am nearly problem-less. I am the antithesis of problematic. Life couldn't get any better. People envy my life. I've got the perfect job. The perfect kids. The perfect nanny. And I've got The Wife. Seriously, could you ask for anything more?
Well, since you asked - yes you could.
My whole life has been structured. High school. College. Well, okay. That one didn't start out all that structured, which is why I dropped out and joined the Army. Back to structure. Back to college. Med school. Army. Internship. Residency. Germany. Washington. Lieutenant Colonel.
And now I'm out of the Army, I am adrift on a sea of structureless perfection. I get up. I go to work. I come home. Wash, rinse and repeat. This is such a foreign concept to me that I don't know what to do. Well, technically that's not true. In the absence of structure, I go looking for it. Lately, I have been contacting recruiters to see if perhaps I should go into the Reserves. Or maybe back on Active Duty. Today I had a lengthy discussion with a Navy recruiter. How does Commander Chako sound? A helluva lot better than Commander Riker if you ask me.
You see, I need structure in my life. Something to look forward to. Some guiding hand that leads me around. I'm restless. Why can't it be like it was when someone else decided my fate?
As it turns out, the hands of fate may have a little twist in store for the Chako household. Perhaps it's no coincidence that the one year anniversary of my father's death is this week. Perhaps it's no coincidence that as I hovered my mouse over my "l o s t . . ." message, it drifted over my sister's icon, which happens to be showing a picture of my dad.
Whatever the reason for the uncertainty, I find myself extremely excited at the unknown. I'm fond of the saying, "It all works out in the end." I really believe it. It's time to test the theory.