Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Review - Mini Sirloin Burgers from Jack-in-the-Box

If there's an upside to the weight I've put on since I got back from Iraq, it's that it gives me more credence as a food reviewer. Never trust a skinny guy when he tells you about the latest fast-food craze.

I LOVE White Castle and Crystal Burger. In fact, I'd bet you right now that I've paid more for a Crystal Burger than anyone reading this post. When I was leaving for Iraq, we had to spend a week at Ft. Benning, Georgia (I was stationed there 10 years ago and it's where my son was born). I got a chance to sneak off onto Victory Drive for dinner one night, but the shuttles had all stopped running. Long story short, I underestimated how much it would cost in a taxi to get a burger. $60 dollars later, I was one happy guy.

Unfortunately, there is no such restaurant in Federal Way, Washington. But wait! Burger King is now offering a similar mini burger in a 2-pack or 6-pack. I had a couple the other day, and while it's no White Castle (no sauteed onions and the burger wasn't quite right), I'd give them a B- for the effort.

Today I had Jack-in-the-Box's version. The burger was too thick, and it was tasteless. The bun was uninspired. The cheese was even lame. They come in a three pack, but I could eat only one (as opposed to my personal best 11 White Castle burgers).

It sucked.

Bottom line - if you have one available, go to White Castle or Crystal Burger. If you must have something after a long night of drinking, BK is your bet. If you go to Jack, stick with the Monster Taco. It will give you the worst heartburn you can imagine, but it still beats their lame-assed attempt at dethroning the king. Who in this case lives in a castle. A crystal castle.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't write food reviews after midnight.


KenP said...

The White Castle is about 5 minutes away. I'm a TakeHomaSack guy. When I was a youth, our street was the route to high school football field and there was a WC about 4 blocks north. You could tell it was Saturday from the little cardboard castle boxes that made the walks look like Christmas snow.

BTW, you can order them shipped these days: 1-800-THE-CRAVE. Even with one close, our local grocery has them in the frozen food case.

The burgers aren't fried but steamed with the onions. The brown mustard they use seems unique to them. And that pickle is top shelf dill pucker.

KenP said...

Way back when (~1950) they were 8-cents.

The ones I liked best though were from a dinner converted from a trailer run by an old Greek named George. Those were bigger and 15-cents. Beside the regular trimming, he had this pot of thin chili on the back left of the grill and he'd ladle some of that on.

If there is a heaven, they are serving those there. I don't know what his chili recipe was but it had to be heaven sent.

And, for those ready to ask, no! don't remember when White Castle switched from Mastodon to beef.

The best burgers today are at Minor-Dunn which goes back to those days. They use a loose ball and a very hot grill. The ball is placed on the grill and then the spatula flattens it to paper thin. The edges crisp. They sell doubles and triples. The bun/burger are oversize. I can eat one with joy and they consume my statins in the same manner.

F-Train said...

I was going to be offended about your skinny guy comment, but then I was all "Wait. I don't eat fast food."

Carry on.

BWoP said...

But I bet you've never had your White Castle hand-delivered by Harold and Kumar look-alikes!

(Two of my former analysts did a White Castle run on their last day. One is Chinese, the other Indian.)

BamBam said...

I ate at a White castle once.

I believe that gets my point across sufficiently.