15 FEB 06
When I started this blog, it was to give me a way to write about my own thoughts for my own benefit. Dear reader, this entry has very little to do with poker, and it’s not for your entertainment. I need a way to get my thoughts down. Feel free to read and offer advice if you think it will help, but you aren’t going to like me much when you are done reading, and I really don’t want any more abuse, thank you.
Poker may be starting to affect my work.
It’s interesting. I remember when I started playing many years ago (okay, it was last year, but it feels longer), I got a few bad beats while playing 4/8. I came into work the next day and was really hard on my residents. The fact they had it coming was merely coincidence. One of my residents was looking at a CT scan and couldn’t tell the difference between the uterus and the bladder. I really laid into him.
Afterwards, he actually thanked me. It seems that no other staff had cared enough to get involved, much less angry. He told me that he’d try better, and that he appreciated my willingness to attend every resident conference and provide input. I guarantee he’ll never forget his female anatomy again.
But, was I overly emotional because of the bad beat the previous night? If I’m being honest, I’m forced to say yes. Just because I was doing the right thing doesn’t justify HOW I did it. There were plenty of other less confrontational ways of approaching this resident. In fact, I got reprimanded for my actions.
Well, I got another bad beat yesterday. In fact, it was a string of bad beats akin to the slaughter of Daniel Negreanu at High Stakes Poker (am I the only one watching this show on GSN?).
So today, I come in early and immediately get a distress call from one of my techs. It seems she was up all night worrying about whether or not we are in compliance with a certain federal regulation. Now, there are a lot of things I do that need to be in strict compliance. Certain things are Level 1 critical (for instance, the amount of radiation coming out of my machine is too high – I shut it down without a second thought). In this case, the tech felt that the issue was a Level 1, and she wanted to shut us down. Fortunately, it’s my decision. The issue is clearly important, but it’s about a Level 3 or 4 (these levels are arbitrary – my point is, the issue is clearly important, but not bad enough to cancel a full day of patients).
Well, the fact that it takes her 30 minutes to explain the issue to me (while patients and residents are waiting), coupled with the fact that she clearly cares more about the issue than is healthy, coupled with the fact that she won’t let me interject to explain to her how we were going to solve the problem caused me to get a little short.
This will come back to haunt me. As I type this, she is calling the FDA. They are not known for measured reasoning in cases like this. I expect we may get shut down - not because we need to get shut down, but because they will likely not understand the issue after my tech explains it. Their “cease” order may be precautionary until they can get more information.
And you know what? It’s MY fault. I promoted this tech to the lead position because I had to fire both previous leaders. Both prior firings were fully justified (the first had committed 2 felony offenses and the second I blogged about – she was the one going through the messy divorce who kept bringing her new boyfriend to work, taking 2 hour lunches, and acting very inconvenienced when asked to do her job). I CAN’T fire another one.
My thoughts here turn to Change100 at Pot Committed. I’ve been fired from one job, but it was not my career. She got fired from a career-type position. That’s exactly what I may be facing with my tech – firing her from a career position. It could be devastating. I don’t want to do it. Hopefully, I’ll find a way to bring her around, or at the very least put her back where she was (not in a leadership position).
I promise I won’t make any final decisions until I’m sure it’s not rash behavior from my recent bad beat.
This sucks. A better person would find a way to make this work.