26 OCT 06
I want to continue Part II of the “You People” story because there is something significant I intentionally left out, but first I have to share this.
I was running late this morning because my wife left me [1], so I stopped into BK for a crossanwich. The total was $2.18. I had a few pennies, so I gave her two bills, two dimes and three pennies.
She hands me my sandwich and then hands me my change – 2 pennies.
Huh?
I hold them out to her and say, “a nickel please.” She looks at me quizzically, reaches into her drawer and hands me another penny.
Dr. Chako smiles patiently.
“Nope,” I reply, still holding out my hand. I just want a nickel, thanks. She reaches into the drawer and hands me, yup, another penny.
Straining my smile muscles now.
“Nope,” I say, hoping it sounded like the last one and not a little maniacal like I was feeling, “I just want a nickel, thanks.”
Looking at my open hand with the four pennies, she replies, “but then you would have too much money.”
[1] – Okay. She didn’t really leave me. She’s just in Arkansas, but that’s kinda like the same thing.
5 comments:
Sounds like my old man on allowance day when I was a kid...
Okay. You're standing there with four cents. She's standing there with an expression that says, "Why are you doing this to me?"
What happened next? There has to be some sort of ending to this miserable little tale.
Did she threaten to call the cops if you didn't leave the store by the time she counted to... No. Wait. That couldn't be the ending. After all, she didn't know how to count.
Did you jump over the counter, twist one arm behind her back and demand that she use her free arm to take a nickel out of the register? No. Wait. This girl didn't know what a nickel looked like.
Did the veins on your neck bulge like an animal balloon when you screamed, "$2.23 minus $2.18 equals...!" No. Wait. This girl's idea of arithmetic, along with her concept of "minus" and "equals," amounts to nothing more than a reverberating echo in a totally empty cavern.
So, go back to your story and finish it by simply bludgeoning her into an indiscernible pile of oatmeal mush. That'll work.
Hunter Silvastorm
www.huntersilvastorm.com
Once, when I was still in high school, I did react that way. That's a story for a future blog post, I think.
On two seperate occasions, I have driven through different KFC drive through's, paid with a $20 and received change for a $10. I now memorize the last 4 digits of the serial number on the bills I pay with at a drive through. It's not the amount, it's the principle!
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