Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Occupied!

20 June 07

Apparently this is Rant Month.

Doctors have little special privilege in the Army and, as such, we don’t get our own bathrooms. I have to use the same bathroom as our patients. No big deal.

//rant on//

So I’m taking my morning constitutional this a.m. when there is a loud knock on the door.

BANG! BANG!

I don’t say anything because I’m concentrating on the task at hand, and I figure the locked door speaks volumes.

BANG! BANG!

It’s one minute later. I’m not done yet, so I greet the intruder with silence.

BANG! BANG!

I can take no more. “Occupied!” I reply.

From the other side of the door I hear, “Well, you’ve been in there a long damn time!”

It’s coming from an older male, and I’m sure he has a need. I could care less at this point. This is MY time.

“Feel free to come in here and wipe my ass then! I’m almost done!”

There was no one outside the door when I walked out.

//rant off//

2 comments:

The Sister said...

Oh my god. I am on the floor laughing. You are so right about the locked door speaking volumes. It's a truly "duh" thing that people do, knocking on locked bathroom doors. I owe you no explanation that can't be interrpeted by the locked door. It's none of your damn business how long I am going to be. No go away.

Ryan Kirk said...

Not only the locked door, but I suppose that is why bathroom doors in public restrooms don't go down to the floor either? So you can take a peek and see if someone is in there.

Which brings me to my own mini-rant...

Would it be too much to ask public restroom designers to dignify the squatting process just a bit more by not enabling complete strangers to check out whether I wore boxers or briefs that day? Does anyone know the reason why they couldn't bring the stall wall down just another 18 inches? Sick voyeuristic architects.