Saturday, July 01, 2006

Ozzfest Recap

1 JUL 06

What an experience!! Read here for a recap of how I got VIP Ozzfest tickets and what I decided to do with them. I picked a winner and he went and had a great time.

I listed the tickets for free on Craigslist, and got tons of responses. Since I didn’t want people wondering if I chose them or not, I decided to send everyone an email. Here is that email with my additional analysis – free for your reading enjoyment.


Thanks for asking about my tickets to Ozzfest. UNFORTUNATELY, if you are getting this email, it means I didn’t pick you.

The decision was MUCH harder than I expected. I got over 100 requests. Here are some of the best:

I would piss myself and stay in those pants for 3 days just to hear System of a Down for 1 minute – Clearly the most outrageous, but a little difficult to verify. Would he come to my house every day?

This may be my last chance to see Ozzy solo before I (or he) die. - Too true, but I hear Ozzy was quite up to the show.

I work in a Women's Support Shelter – There are so many things wrong with giving this woman an Ozzfest ticket, I don’t know where to begin.

My daughter’s last name is Osborne, so it’s meant to be. – This one got serious consideration and was in the top 5.

I will ride my bmx bike with no breaks all the way down to south Seattle or wherever you live. – Dude. I’m a doctor. While I think the exercise might be good, I don’t want anyone injured.

I’ll trade you an iPod for them – I actually got a lot of these offers. Can you listen to NRP on an iPod?

Today is my b’day. - Happy birthday!! No tickets!!

100 pounds of Starbucks coffee – I was called a COMPLETE IDIOT for not taking this one. Now, if it was 100 bottles of Diet Coke, I may have reconsidered.

An upright piano – Huh?

I will trade tattoos for the tickets. - Tempting, and clearly outrageous, but I’ve gone 39 years without a tattoo, I don’t think I’ll start now.

1 1/2 hour heated stone massage with aromatherapy – Also very tempting, but I’m guessing no “happy ending,” so no tickets.

I will eat any thing you put on the plate as long as it is not harmful to me. – I loved this one and it was also in the top 5, but again, I just can’t see driving over there with a plate of (name your favorite Fear Factor disgusto-meal here) and knocking on his door.

I will trade u 2 tickets for the PINK concert this Sunday – Uh, maybe if I don’t like Ozzy, I’ll like Pink?

$200+ - Even though I said “no money” I got several offers for outright cash, and probably could have gotten over $300 for them. The way poker has been lately, I probably should have taken the cash.

The winner is a guy named Jamie who was willing to write me into the credits of his upcoming CD. I asked for the most outrageous offer, and that was clearly it.

He just sent me this email.


Good Morning! I'm tired, sunburned, and poor... but I had an awesome time! My friend did as well. The seats were pretty great, just above the pit level. It was so nice getting to park in the VIP area and get free water and such in the VIP tent. That was a life saver.

Ozzy was fantastic... not just a couple smiles here and there... it was the entire time he played. He still gets around and gets into the music a lot which is great to see.

I met a couple of very flirty, very attractive young ladies there too, which was nice. They even took my camera phone with them into the girls VIP bathroom area and took some interesting photos together for me.

Anyway we had a wonderful time, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.


-Jamie (Proto-Leviathan)

PS: What did you think of my CD??

He gave me a “rough draft” of a CD from his band. They sound really tight and probably could have played right along with System of a Down and the other groups at Ozzfest.

All in all, a great experience. I highly recommend it to anyone with a similar situation. I got tons more enjoyment out of this than an extra $200 would have gotten me.

Now where are those damn camera phone pics?

3 comments:

Easycure said...

Yeah, we like pics! (Especially boobies.)

Lady Falcon said...

Great story. :)

The sister said...

"Happy Birthday! NO TICKETS!" Had me on the floor!