Thursday, November 20, 2008

Shaving Your Goat

I'm not a vain person. If you need confirmation, just check out the pic of my tubby ass diving into the pool a few posts back. That said, when I got out of the military, I decided to try something I haven't been able to do in the last 22 years (thanks to Uncle Sam) - I grew a goatee. After small learning curve, I figured out that I liked to keep it trimmed pretty short, in sort of an upside-down egg configuration. If I let it get too long, the gray really stood out.

Everyone loved the goat, or so they told me. Everyone, that is, except The Wife. Little chiding questions here and there were quite telling. Is this a phase? Are you going to keep it forever?

When that didn't work, she started getting bolder. "You know, I had a dream last night. It was about Otis..."

All right, already! I get it.

So, amongst the many gifts I lavished on her last night, I gave her one more - I shaved it all off. It took her a second when she got in the car, but she quickly figured it out. "You shaved!"

For you, baby. All for you.

Other than the big negative reaction from my oldest son (How could you, Dad?!), I really didn't think anyone else would notice. Boy, was I wrong. I wasn't at work for 10 minutes before one of my techs asked me what happened. I told him it was for The Wife and he gave that nod that only someone who's been married for at least 10 years can understand (I think he just celebrated his 25th anniversary). Many others followed. All reactions were negative. "We really liked it!" they cried. On my way to write this post, two more people stopped me to ask about it.

So now I'm stuck. On the one side, I've got at least a dozen votes in favor, but I've only got one against.

What's a guy to do?


Mookie said...

Go with the one who gives it up to you :)

Drizztdj said...

*cracks whip*

Then again she controls the pants.

Gadzooks64 said...

Mookie has it right, do whatever "gets your bread butter" if you smell what I'm cooking.

I, on the other hand, love a good goatee.

Katitude said...

Babes, you KNOW I think it was hot, but then, I'm just looking at it, not the one getting whisker burn every night.

Seriously, did you even need to ask the question? LOL

Otis said...

While the above advice is good, Kat pretty much sums up the Otis experience. Most people, including me, like my facial hair. My wife does not. She prefers a light stubble or a clean face.

I concede on many points. I don't drink like I used to. I don't gamble like I used to. I don't travel like I used to. I don't do much of anything like I used to.

I control one thing in my life and it's how much hair I keep on my face.

I also have another refrain which may or may not apply at your house.

The moment you promise to be clean shaven everyday, I will be clean shaven every day.

Gets'em every time.

DrChako said...

Yeah, but that particular game of chicken works both ways, and I'll flinch first if it means sleeping next to furry legs.


The Wife said...

Thanks for the one night of clean shaven . . .

Go ahead and grow back the goat.

I'm NOT stripping down to less than the racing stripe again . . .

Too itchy.

Otis said...

And THAT was my point.

Done and done.

BamBam said...

Well.... to get all technical and shit!

What you removed my Brother, was a Van Dyke. The Goatee was merely the "chin" portion. So are you saying that you now have a mustache?

Just sayin'


Learn from a pro! Do whatever the hell makes your Wife happy first. AT ALL TIMES!!!!!

When slugs such as us find the best of the cabbages, keeping said cabbage content, means we get to slime all over them often.

Once again, just sayin'

Instant Tragedy said...

When the wife isn't happy, she leaves and takes 50% and the kids.

Wait a min, that was my experience.

Never Mind!