For my RSS readers, please see Part I here. This part of the conversation begins after the question, "Do you know what Fertilize means?"
Dr. Chako: That means that something has to happen to the egg in order for it to become a baby.
Son: Do I have eggs?
Dr. Chako: Good question! No you don’t. Only girls have them, and guess what? All girls have eggs, right from when they are born. Isn’t that cool? You have something different, and now we are getting to the important stuff.
Son: What’s that?
Dr. Chako: In order for the egg to get fertilized it needs sperm.
Son: Like the sperm whale?
Dr. Chako: Kinda. Well, no. Not really. Um…
Son: You okay, Dad?
Dr. Chako: (Recovering). Yeah. Anyway, do you know how the sperm gets to the egg?
Dr. Chako: The sperm comes from your penis.
Dr. Chako: You may not think that in a couple years. In order to get the sperm there, a man puts his penis into a woman’s vagina.
Dr. Chako: (Laughing) Do you know what that’s called?
Son: (A little embarrassed) Yeah. I heard you say it about mommy, but without the “y.”
Dr. Chako: Huh?
Son: Sexy. Well… sex.
Dr. Chako: It’s also called making love. But wait, there’s more. Do you think you could get your penis into a vagina?
Son: Ummm… no.
Dr. Chako: It would be kinda tough, right? Well, something has to happen first. Your penis has to get hard. Has that ever happened to you? Like, when you first wake up in the morning?
Son: (Excited) Yeah! Or when I tickle myself down below my belly button!
Dr. Chako: (Showing incredible restraint) Exactly. Well, when your penis gets hard, it’s called an erection, and it makes it easy to put your penis into a woman’s vagina. Here’s the other thing. Right now, only one thing comes out of your penis.
Dr. Chako: Right. But pretty soon, your voice will start to change and you’ll get armpit hair and you’ll need deodorant like we talked about, right? (He’s been asking us to smell his pits to see if he’s ready for deodorant.)
Son: You mean puberty.
Dr. Chako: Exactly. Well, the other thing that happens is that your body is preparing to make sperm. It also comes out of your penis and it looks very different from potty. It’s white and creamy. Someday, you’ll meet a woman and fall in love and get married. When you are ready to make babies, this is what you’ll do. What do you think?
Son: Well, I guess I’m glad you told me, but… I kinda wish you hadn’t.
Dr. Chako: (Laughing) Maybe so, but it’s important you know these things. Any questions?
Dr. Chako: Goodnight, son.
Son: ‘Night, Dad!
I heard a story on NPR about kids saying that their parents never talked to them about the birds and the bees, and I didn’t want to be in that group. My conversation was not perfect, but it’s the best I could do. Feel free to plagiarize, copy, duplicate or otherwise steal this conversation and call it your own.