Hawaii Trip Report #3

6 JUN 07

This is my third and final trip report. I’ll keep it short and sweet because I have to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. I’m getting promoted! For those of you non-military types, military promotions can be a big thing. My boys will be doing the honors of pinning on the newly acquired Lieutenant Colonel rank (although my youngest may need a little help from mom so he doesn’t drive the pins into my acromion).

For now, please enjoy these photos from our trip.

First off, my “cousin.” We share the same last name but have never met. Would you believe me if I told you he was my father?

Golfing in paradise. This is the Ko’olau Golf Course, and you can see why it’s ranked as #51 in Golf Digests top 100 places you can play.

It takes a real man to drink a fruity drink. There was no alcohol. Honest.

Hawaii Trip Report #2

5 JUN 07

I’m under self-imposed pressure to blog about this before the memories become less clear. Ain’t that just the way of things? Thank goodness for pictures, which I hope to post soon.

After the amazing coincidental meeting with my long lost cousin, my wife and I checked into a fabulous room overlooking the ocean and Mauna Loa Park. The word “idyllic” comes close. Every day was paradise. We often joked about how long we’d have to live there before the perfection of every day became routine. Oh, look. Another rainbow. Meh.

Rather than bore you with details that only my wife and I will find interesting, let me share a few quick things with you:

- If you go to Hawaii, fly to the big island and visit the volcano. At first it seemed flat and uninteresting, but the more we wandered, the more it felt really foreign. It’s almost like we were visiting another planet. You really see the awesome power of nature and if you have a decent imagination, you can hear the explosions and see the lava carving the earth.

- Pauly and Otis have talked about the differences between being a traveler and a tourist. While the former sounds romantic, there is a reason tourism exists, and it’s for people like us. In that vane, if you must do a lu’au, do the one at the Polynesian Cultural Center. Nuf said.

- Buy a Hawaiian shirt at Hilo Hatties. Make sure it’s Rayon. Wear it. You may never get another chance (unless you live in Florida or Vegas).

- Snorkel in Haneuma Bay. Wear SPF 50. Apply it before you leave your hotel room and at least once more during the day. If you want to save a little time and money, rent your snorkel gear before you get there.

- I’m plus/minus about the dinner cruise we took on the Navatek I. It’s a very cool ship and dolphins were racing along the bow. The food was passable (barely), but the guitarist was awesome. There were Hawaiian dancers, too, if you go for that sort of thing.

Here’s an observation. Hawaiian girls have their own beauty, but as a rule, they didn’t do it for me. Give me an Hispanic woman any day. Uh, I mean, my wife outshone them all.*

It all comes down to the epiphany I had while walking on the beach. We all want to be known for something, and this is my something. You can inscribe it on my tombstone, and I intend to use it if I’m ever asked to give a toast:

“Throughout your life, may you know what you’ve got while you’ve got it.”


* She really did.

Bluegrass on Letterman

I'll get back to my Hawaii trip report soon. Please allow me a short detour.

I gave up watching regular TV a long time ago. Most of it was crap anyway. Sometimes, though, you get something like this. Wow. I’m speechless.

Here is the link if the video doesn't work. I've never embedded anything before:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icMTVV5Lwaw&mode=related&search=

Here is what I think I know from the video:

1st banjo -Earl Scruggs – perhaps the greatest banjo player ever and one half of the duo Flatt and Scruggs

2nd banjo -Steve Martin – yes, THAT Steve Martin

Acoustic Guitar -Randy Scruggs

1st Electric Guitar solo -Vince Gill

2nd guitar solo -Albert Lee

Mandolin -Marty Stuart

Harmonica -Gary Scruggs

Not sure about the rest, but I think it's Glen Duncan on fiddle, and I don't know about Dobro. Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong.

You all may not appreciate this as much as me. At least I know Daddy will like it.

Hawaii Trip Report #1

1 June 07

Where to begin?

This was our first trip to Hawaii. A 5 ½ hour plane ride from Seattle is a bit much, but it’s a lot easier without kids. Big thanks to Nancy (my mother-in-law) for coming down here from Wisconsin for the week. My youngest got sick near the end of the trip, and Nancy didn’t complain at all about having to clean up puke from his bed. It was made easier by Jason’s “puke-and-rally gene” (right, Al?) because he was happy as a clam right after relieving himself. It’s hard to be mad in the face of such joy.

We get off the plane and head to Alamo Rental Cars. You must have your own car if you want to do Oahu correctly. Little known tidbit – if you arrive in the afternoon, do not pay for an upgrade to your rental car. Most of the economy cars are gone in the morning, so all they have left are the nicer ones, which they give you for the same price. We got a Trailblazer, which was quite nice. We headed to our hotel, the Prince Hotel on Waikiki, a 5-star humdinger where we were one of only two other non-Asian groups. That’s not much of an exaggeration.

Small world story. As I’m checking in, they ask for my last name. I say, “Chako,” and they reply, “John?” Sorry, my first name is Chuck (most people reading this blog know my real name, but since it’s out there for all to see, I stick with the nom de plum Dr. Chako).

Anyway, I’m surprised to see someone else listed at the hotel with the same last name. Since I have no relatives named John, it’s a weird coincidence. Imagine my surprise when the guy standing next to me hands over his credit card and I happen to see the name – it’s John! I introduce myself and as I’m shaking his hand, his wife remarks that we look a lot a like. It’s uncanny, really. John is the same age as my dad, and if he and my dad were standing next to each other and someone asked you to pick my father, I think you’d have a tough time.

We started comparing notes. Turns out there are tons of similarities.

- Both of our families are from Russia.
- Both families came to the US in the early 1900’s but were turned away at the border and forced to go to Canada.
- Both of our families moved to the states at the earliest possibility – his to Minnesota and mine to New York.

His grandfather was named George. I had a great uncle named George, but we know all of George’s offspring, and there are no Johns in there. There is a possibility that George had kids from a mistress, but no one in my family can confirm this. I asked John for more details, but he says that he doesn’t know anymore. I’m guessing we may be second cousins once removed. At most, we are 3rd or 4th cousins. Amazing.

Next – Waikiki, Diamondhead, Luau’s and throwing my wife into an active Volcano.

Hawaii 2007

Just got in from our 50th state. Incredible. I'll have more tomorrow. Right now I must sleep.

Note to Ryan - they only made one of my wife. Sorry, no clones available.

Douglas Adams

23 May 07

I am off to Hawaii. Don’t be a hater.

Before I go, I want to share something with you. Years ago, I heard someone say how much they loved the internet, because, with nothing to do, you could find yourself in a new an unexpected place and be fascinated. The math geek over at xkcd.com did a comic about it recently called The Problem with Wikipedia where he researched the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and ended up three hours later looking at Batman and a wet t-shirt contest.

Today I had a little time to kill. One of my favorite activities is looking at famous quotes. In fact, when I started this little blog, I tried to include good quotes at the end of each post.

Fasten your seatbelts. I’m gonna post a bunch of Douglas Adams (11 March 1952 - 11 May 2001) quotes. He wrote the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy among many other great works. Enjoy.

I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.

I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.

"A suffusion of yellow." (A calculator's response to the question of any math problem with an answer larger than four.)

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.

(On Religion) Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

And finally, three quotes on Learning:

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Shut Up and Deal

22 MAY 07

I’m re-reading Shut Up and Deal by Jesse May. The pages are literally falling out of the book. This is due to a combination for poor book binding and the fact that I’ve read this damn book 4 times. It’s a good story and an interesting read, mostly because it’s written as if someone was speaking into a tape recorder. If you can get past the loose style you find two things:

It’s a good read.
It’s a GREAT instruction book.

Here is the partial review from Amazon:

May's speedy, coming-of-age debut unfolds in the insular, all-male world of high-stakes professional poker, where staying in the action is everything and money is just a way of keeping score. Narrator Mickey, who joins the pro circuit at the age of 21, is surrounded by a large cast of eccentrics with stereotypical nicknames like Vinnie the Greek, Fresca Kid and Uptown Raoul.

I know that calling this an instruction book seems silly, especially given that instruction was not the intention. There are plenty of other books that talk about how to play specific hands and calculating pot odds. What’s different here is that you get to hear how a professional thinks. You learn about identifying leaks, whether they be in the “pit” or in your own generosity. You learn that all pros get broke and what they do to recover. You learn about what it takes to make it in this world. It’s dirty and raw and exciting and gut-wrenching and surreal and you just want more.

I’ve tried to do some research on the author, Jesse May. The book is written in the first person perspective of Mickey, the protagonist. If you click the link above, you go to the Wiki entry on Jesse, which says that he actually played in a televised episode of Late Night Poker under the pseudonym of Mickey Dane. Apparently, Jesse is now (or at least was) the host of said show.

I played a little medium stakes poker at the Borgata and the Taj in Atlantic City, and I had a copy of the book with me. Several players spotted it and said they not only knew Jesse, but that he played in there occasionally. I wish he was there to ask him how much of the book was personal experience and how much was made up.

If it was mostly made up, then it’s one helluva tale. If it’s all from first hand true experience, it’s even better.

War as a Vacation?

18 MAY 07

I’m headed to Iraq. This is old news by now.

In the meantime, I was asked to take over as the chief of staff for my department. The prior chief of staff (my boss) is currently in Iraq, and I will replace him when I go.

Being the chief is a big job. I have so many balls in the air, it’s a wonder no one has called for my head. If you let it, this job will get to you.

I just got an email from the prior chief. Here is an excerpt:

Sorry I haven't been more communicative, there just isn't much news. The security situation is very, very secure so long as one remains on [the base], which is a huge complex. So far no indirect fire. The pace is very, very laid back -- I actually have time to get a few hours in at the gym every mid-day. I do work 7 days a week, but even with the gym break over lunch I'm still out of the hospital by about 1400-1500. And it's very nice to just be a clinical guy -- no particular extra leadership responsibilities and when I go home at the end of the day, it's not with the feeling that I've left some project, issue, or task that will be waiting for me to tackle when I return. You can't put a price on that. It's a nice little Sabbatical.

No indirect fire? Working 7 days a week? Sabbatical?

Sign me up!

Oh wait, they already did.

Dr. Chako’s Dad Explains Everything

17 MAY 07

Editors Note: I’m letting out a poorly guarded secret here. The radio host, author, occasional commenter and guest poster Hunter Silvastorm is also my dad. Here he responds to my post from yesterday regarding child rearing. Enjoy.

Dear Dr. Chako,

Guilt, Corporal Punishment, Family Values, Child Rearing, Priorities, and Jerry Falwell. One has to admire the diversity that you manage to cram into a single blog.

The folks who respond to this blog might, therefore, represent an equally diverse mind set. I wouldn't be surprised to read comments from psychologists, Baptists, secular progressives, clergy, teachers, Ellen Degeneras, Neils Bort, Terence Satherwaite (creator of the Tele-Tubbies), Rosie O'Donnell, Rudi Guiliani, and Martin Sheen.

However, if you were to tier this list into a hierarchy of "who-might-come-closest-too-hitting-the-Bulls-Eye," I would have to place myself at the top of the heap. My reason, of course, is simple.

I am your Father and, by extension, the Grandfather of Jared, who, to remind the readers, is the young man who was subjected to the humiliation of having to call home to explain his classroom disruptions.

Similar to a belt, a switch, or locking a child in a closet for 3 days, humiliation is just another tool of discipline. Although the child may view it as a fate worse than death, it is far more effective than physical torture. (Just look at the poor Muslims of Abu Ghraib Prison who were forced to disrobe in front of a woman). Far from The Rack or the old Buried up to your Chin in the Ant Hill routine, psychological punishment is still most effective. Consequently, my grandson learned a valuable lesson without the need for Band-Aids, stitches, or emergency organ replacement.

And speaking of psychological punishments, I would like to share a tale of my child rearing experiences that involved the author of this blog, Dr. Chako.

When he was merely six-years old, he broke one of my Rules of the House. Specifically, he missed a dinnertime curfew by one full minute. Hence, I needed to come up with an appropriate punishment. I thought about locking him in that special part of the root cellar, the one with the really big spiders and their funnel webs, but I knew that his blood curdling screams wouldn't do much more than keep me up through the night. I thought about hog-tying him and hanging him upside down from one of the rafters on our front porch, but that would only serve to upset the neighbors. Ultimately, I made the decision to let 6-year old Dr. Chako decide his own fate.

"Do you have any idea what's going to happen to you now," I said sternly.

"No," blubbered Dr. Chako, tears streaming down his face.

"Well," I said, "you go into your room, close the door, and think about what sort of punishment I should give you."

Nodding his little head, he went into his room and closed the door. In a few minutes, there were heart-wrenching wails of deep anguish coming from his room. I, of course, nodded confidently, knowing that this psychological tactic was perfect. Soon, he emerged and stood before me.

I said, "Have you decided what punishment I should give you for being late for dinner?"

He nodded affirmatively, but was crying so hard that he could not yet speak.

"Then tell me. What should I do to you?"

Mustering up all his strength and trying desperately to stop his frightened quivering, he said, "You're just going to have to kill me, Dad."

Putting Jerry Falwell aside for just a moment, perhaps we should think twice about the long term effects of psychological punishment. Of course, if you have read Dr. Chako's blog, and his sister's comment, you will also wonder about the long term effects of a father's mantra, "School is the single most important thing you have to be concerned with."

Hunter Silvastorm

P.S. to view a photo of Dr. Chako, his family and his sister, go to or click on the following website:

www.huntersilvastorm.com

Can’t You Just Hit Me with a Stick?

16 MAY 07

Perhaps this is something best left for the parents over at Joe Speaker’s new digs Don’t Forget to Flush. As a proud Republican (neglecting for the moment the passing of Moral Majority leader Jerry Falwell, who attributed 9/11 to God’s punishment of the U.S. for our immorality), I am a proponent of shame as a useful tool for discipline. There may be plenty of Democrats out there who share this belief, but it seems to fit more with the core values of Republicans. It has to because we can’t use corporal punishment anymore. Unfortunately, a few wayward folks actually liked beating kids and gave the rest of us a bad name.

Fast forward to yesterday. There is a message on my answering machine:

Female Voice: Hello, Dr. and Mrs. Chako? This is Ms. Harvey, Jared’s 4th grade teacher. He has something to tell you.

Sound of phone transferring over to a distraught 9 year-old.

Jared (sobbing): Mom and Dad? I was being very disruptive in class. I was not paying attention in reading group and I didn’t stop when Ms. Harvey asked me too. This is really bad for me and it keeps others from learning. I’m really sorry.

The phone transfers back to Ms. Harvey

Ms. Harvey: If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call.

Now that’s what I call discipline, and led me to the title of this post. How terrible it must have been for my son to leave that message.

Good.

Of course, this leads to a whole other problem. When Mom and I had the stern talk with our son last night, I was forced to quote my dad:

Son, school is the single most important thing you have to be concerned with.

For those of you not related to me, that quote certainly must seem like sage advice. If you happen to be from the Chako clan, that quote will give you shivers and may make you hurl. We heard this as kids more times than you would believe. I SWORE I would never repeat it to my kids. I’ve used variations in a lame attempt to saying something close, but not exact.

So much for that. You can’t change the perfection of a simple, concise message. Thanks a lot, Dad.

Ultraloose Play

15 MAY 07

First off, my trip to New Jersey was excellent. Montclair and West Orange have a… feeling – you know what I mean? While it doesn’t hold an appeal to me, I can certainly see why people are drawn there and call it home. I guess being from a similar town in upstate NY gives me that perspective.

I got to see my favorite cousin Jarel (see image), but it was only briefly. He’s starring in a play called The Nerd (about my life?) in Binghamton, NY and had to leave right after the Bat Mitzvah to get back to the theater. I cannot imagine the life of a working actor. It’s awesome that he’s pursuing his dream. Too bad I didn’t get to ask him if he’s experiencing a similar mid-life crisis. He turns 40 in October.

There is nothing like family to make you feel special. Everyone knew about my upcoming deployment to Iraq and were full of praises for my military service and genuine concern for me and my family.

Anyway, enough about me. You came here for the awesome poker content.

You are at an extremely loose 10/20 LHE table. There are two very aggressive players at opposite ends of the table and a bunch of pissed off players in the middle hell bent on busting those assholes. There have been at least four 6-way capped pots preflop and you just got here. Unfortunately, you got caught up in it when your set lost to a runner-runner rivered straight from a guy holding 3s-5d, and now you are nursing a dwindling bankroll.

You look down at As-Kd under the gun. Knowing it’s gonna be ugly, what is your play here? Do you limp knowing someone else will raise? Do you just raise anyway?

Does anyone fold here?

New Jersey Bound

No post today. I'm off to a Bat Mitzvah in Joisey. It will be good to get back to my roots.

We’ve Gone to the Dogs

10 MAY 07

The title of this post incidentally refers to my poker game, but it also means we have a new addition to the Chako family. My sister is on her way to Korea with the Air Force (good luck, sis!) and so we are watching her dog, Macy. Macy is a mean, viscious, snarling, nasty dog who hates kids.

Look out! She’s gonna attack!

I’ve got him right where I want him.

And yet, my kids still want to jump for joy.

Happy Birthday, Iggy!

9 May 07

Happy 40th Birthday, Iggy!

Welcome to the club.

vs.

8 MAY 07

I have competing interests. Recently, I began an aggressive weight loss program and have been relatively successful. One thing that helped was joining a racquetball league, which meets Tuesday nights.

My son, who is 9, just joined a basketball league, which, you guessed it, also meets on Tuesdays. I thought about having him change teams, but his buddies are also on the team and he really likes his coach.

Combine this with two other recent things that seem minor, but really aren’t. Jared asked me to play wiffle ball yesterday. He actually said, “I want to hang out with you. Can you pitch to me?”

Add this to my evening ritual. Every night I give my kids a choice between having me read a story or sing a song. For months now, my 4 year old wants me to read and my 9 year old wants a song. He’s been on a Dan Fogelberg kick lately (Leader of the Band), but I do a pretty good rendition of Cat’s in the Cradle.

My son turned ten just the other day.

He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.

Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,

I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."

And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,

He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.

You know I'm gonna be like him."

So much for racquetball.

Monday

7 MAY 07

I was in a foul mood until I read my horoscope:

Aries March 21 - April 19
Your drinking is beginning to drive your friends and loved ones away from you, making you wish you'd thought of it much earlier.

God, I love The Onion.

Donked around in a tournament this weekend with my buddy Andrew. 60 players and we both made the final table. If it wasn’t for our last-longer prop bet, I might have been out sooner. Unfortunately for him, he made an aggressive raise, only to be called by the chip leader with stupid cards. Out he went in 8th. I was right behind in 7th. That same chip leader called a big raise from me earlier with 7s-6d and flopped the nut straight. Oh well.

Didn’t feel like driving out to the ‘shoot, so I sat in a 6-12 game at Freddie’s. Played extra tight because I was hoping they’d start a bigger game. No such luck. Finished dead even. Too bad I pissed away $100 at 4/8 waiting to get into the game. I have no business playing the lower limits. I lost three consecutive hands to 2-4, 2-5 and 3-6. All off-suit. You'd a thought I was playing against myself!

Friggin’ donktastic.

Dr. Pauly just published the WSOP schedule. I know I could look it up on the official site, but I’m lazy. Man, there are some juicy events. Who's going?

Truckin's Up!

6 MAY 07

What the hell are you doing reading me on a Sunday?! Go check out the latest issue of Truckin’. It’s a better way to spend your time.

Oh yeah. Don’t forget that Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I’m thinking of this.

Note to the wife (an occasional reader) – don’t click on the link. You’ll ruin the surprise. Seriously.

Dr. Chako Cures Knee Pain!

5 MAY 07

Today you will get the benefit of knowing a poker-playing Army doctor. In honor of shaving 30 seconds off of my three mile run this morning, I want to share with you something I learned from the Army training guide. Back when I was enlisted and doing PT (physical training) 3 to 5 days a week, the sergeant in charge would line us up and run us through a series of stretches before our exercise. Some of the stretches hurt, so I knew they were working. Others, like the stretch below, didn’t feel like they were doing anything.

If I could give you one stretch to do every day, it would be this one.

Here is the simple explanation. The VMO (Vastus Medialis Obliquus) is not exercised in normal walking and running. This stretch not only loosens the ankle and knee ligaments, it targets the VMO. This provides balance to the muscles surrounding the knee.

Balance is good.

Editors Note: I just read the Wiki page linked above, which seems to refute my claim about the VMO. All I know is, this exercise works. It also may combat Chondromalacia and Patellofemoral Syndrome.

Oh yeah – happy Cinco de Mayo! Gotta love a holiday that celebrates beating the French.

Happy Tilt

4 MAY 07

I was pissed yesterday. I was trying to pull into traffic after taking my dog to the vet. Some blue-haired bitch in a Lexus could have easily let me in, but instead she chose to pull her car right up to the bumper of the car in front of her. She actually lifted her nose in defiance!

I started honking my horn at her. She had plenty of room to back up. Wasn’t happening.

Finally, I got her to turn her head and look at me. I gave her the biggest smile I could and started waving like some happy maniac. To be honest, it was my complete intention to get her to smile and then switch my face over to the, “I’m gonna kill your whole family" look and start cussing and spitting at the window.

But I found a better solution. She looked perplexed. I could hear her thoughts. Do I know this guy? Did I just cut off one of my clients? Does he know my husband?

I had her right where I wanted her.

I finally got behind her and was able to catch up. I pulled right along side and kept up my wave-and-smile bit.

Here is my thinking. If I cursed her out, somehow I feel she would have driven away feeling superior and chalked up a win in the Lexus vs. BMW contest. Now, I think she’ll be bothered by this all week. And who knows, maybe next time she let me in.

I win!

MAY DAY!

1 MAY 07

In honor of the day and the title of this post, I was thinking about tilt. For once, acknowledging tilt saved me money. I was playing last night and got up early at a 10/20 table featuring a couple regulars in the 50/100 game. You can be sure there will be many multi-way capped pots, and they didn’t let me down. I played good, solid poker and let the cards do the work until two consecutive opponents won big pots with the exact same hand.

9 4 off-suit.

I turned to LV, a regular and also active duty Army (like me) and remarked how I donked away a bunch of chips the last time morons sucked out like that. I noted that I failed to adjust my strategy for the table-tilt, and I vowed I wouldn’t do it again.

I walked away up a buy-in.

How can it be that the pros don’t tilt? Surely that’s what separates the men from the boys,* right?

It turns out, even Daniel Negreanu goes on tilt.

* You know how they are always talking about what separates the men from the boys? I’ll tell you what separates the men from the boys. The sodomy laws. – George Carlin

Editors Note: Apparently, the Card Player link died when Daniel put up a new post. Here is a link to the same tilt-related post on his FCP website. Sorry, but it may not be accessible from your work computer. I sure can’t get it on mine, so I’m posting this from home.

A Tale of Two Wins

30 APR 07

Saturday nights at the Muckleshoot are a raucous affair. Buckle your seatbelt and hang on. I start out at 4/8, double up, and get to 10/20 where the deck absolutely clobbers me in the head. This is a game with a half-kill, meaning after you win two in a row, you have an automatic post of $15 and the next hand is 15/25. If you win, you post again and this repeats until you lose.

I won 9 in a row.

After 30 minutes, I was up over $1100. The whole table was commenting about it. I tried to make light of it, but it’s clear they weren’t happy. Unfortunately, I didn’t adjust for the fact that I put the table on tilt and caused everyone to draw to everything.

I ended the night up only $200.

Fast forward to last night and I get stuck playing 3/5 NL. I lose a buy-in pretty quickly, but a succession of good reads and good hands has me up a little when the following hand comes up. I’ve got Q6 in the big blind in an unraised pot with 6 limpers. The flop has a six, two overs and two hearts. I check and it checks around to one player who bets $15 into this $35 pot. I make a loose call as do 5 others. The turn is a Queen, giving me top and bottom pair. I bet $55. This is a mistake and prices in all draws, including the small blind, who I am certain is playing two middle hearts. He has shown about 5 bluffs up to this point and proudly dumps is craps cards in the middle for all to see. He’s bluffed me out of two pots already.

The river is my dream card – the Queen of hearts. I have the full house. He has the flush.

Now, several players were “playing friendly” up to this point. Checking the nuts. Honestly advising another player to muck a losing hand and showing – that kind of stuff. Gee – thanks guys! Well, I looked at this guy, who checked to me, and I acted up a little bit. “Aw, man. Did that make your flush?”

I grab a bunch of random red chips and dump them over the line. He quickly calls and starts cursing me even before he gets the money out there. I can’t even repeat anything he said. I honestly thought we were going to have to call security.

Sorry guys,* but at the table, you are not my friend. Sure, we’ll laugh and joke, but I’m there to get your money.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. Both nights I walked away up $200. Which night would you rather have?

* I’m not really sorry.

Oh yeah- to the inevitable comment from my wife. I get it. I should have walked away the first night when I was way up.

Nostalgia

29 APR 07

Reminiscing is a part of my life now that I’m the big 4-0. You will indulge me a little reflection. This picture is my old house. After being born in Brooklyn, we moved to the little town of Wappingers Falls (near Poughkeepsie), NY. When I was about 8 years old, my dad and I planted the tree you see in the front yard.

26 Swenson Drive

There is nothing that shows you the passage of time like the growth of a tree. I mean, just look at that canopy! We did that. I was there when we took the little sapling and carefully placed it in the little hole we dug. I watered it and mowed around it and sat near it and dreamed of what it would look like some day. I even had my first kiss right near it (well, technically my 8 year old “girlfriend” and I stuck our tongues out at each other and they touched. We both agreed that it was disgusting, and we’d never do it again).

Similar to writing a book, this tree gives me a little immortality. I know it won’t last forever, but it will likely outlive me, and that is somehow comforting.

Thank you so much sis for taking that photo. I think I need to go plant a few trees with my kids.

Angle Shooting

28 APR 07

I shamelessly stole this joke from the internet.

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Mark accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, Mark, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Mark went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Sue followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, Mark courageously admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Mark confirms that he is interested. She tells him that her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and as Mark doesn't, he should be at her house around 2 p.m.

When Friday rolled around, Mark shows up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and consumated their transaction. Paul then quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. Upon entering the house, he asked his wife abruptly, "Did Paul come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. Paul came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

***

Oh yeah – Happy birthday, sis!

***

One last thing – the Link of the Day

This dude is for real. This person actually exists and has done the impossible. Go watch and celebrate humanity.

Make Sure

27 APR 07


If it’s sunny where you are, make sure you take time to lay about in the grass this weekend.

Fishy

27 APR 07

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box? We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up."

"Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he came home a little tired, but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.

He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you?”

The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box."

***

And, my new favorite quote:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
US comedian with the Marx Brothers (1890 - 1977)

Identity Theft

26 APR 07

I get a call yesterday from my wife who casually asks if I withdrew $1200 from our personal accounts for poker.

Huh?

Now, I have withdrawn funds from the casino ATM when I forgot to bring enough cash, and a couple times when I went broke, so the question was not unfair. Still, I haven’t done it in quite a while, and I certainly never withdrew that much.

So, a quick call to USAA confirms that there were 3 rapid ATM withdrawals yesterday totaling $1200. And get this – they were all from London, England. They asked me if I’ve been to London recently and when I said no, they asked about my ATM card. Sure enough, it’s still in my wallet.

Long story short - the card has been cancelled and all $1200 will be back in my account by tomorrow. I love USAA. If you or your parents were ever in the military, you are crazy not to insure and bank there.

On that note, one of my residents told me about Life Lock. Has anyone tried this company? The ad campaign is impressive. The president put his own social security number out there for all to see – challenging would be thieves to steal his personal information. So far, I think he’s safe.

High Stakes

25 APR 07

In this case, I’m referring to high stakes testing. My 9 year old is taking the WASL this week. It’s supposedly a must-pass test for all 4th graders, although the Washington State legislature has once again succumbed to the pressures of the lowest common denominator. Some parents were able to convince the lawmakers that the test is too hard and unfair, so, rather than test and adjust scores appropriately, they have cut the legs out from under it and basically said it counts, but not really.

I’m annoyed at this culture of "everyone is an A student." Nonsense. My son is exceptionally bright, but I have no illusions that he’s a prodigy. Nor is he in danger of failing, so maybe that gives me a comfort zone. Perhaps I would be less critical if I thought he was in danger of failing, but I like to think I have courage in my convictions.

You will indulge me a moment of pride, though. When I asked him how it went on Day 1, he said, “That was a lot easier than I thought. I was done way early.”

He takes after Dad it seems. We all know that Mom is smarter, but no one was faster at test taking than Dr. Chako. In fact, they used to have the “Dr. Chako Factor” on the blackboard in my medical school. It was an informal pool about how long it would take for me to finish a test. I think money changed hands a few times. My best was a 100 question Pediatrics final that I finished in 9 minutes. Got 100%, too.

***

Quick gear change. I played in my racquetball league again last night. I’m less sore today than last week. Played 7 games; won 6. Not too shabby.

***

Final gear change. Thanks to all who chimed in on my rules question. I posted my response in the comments section of my last post, but I’ll bring it up here so you don’t have to search for it.

Thanks everyone. I totally agree with Karen's ruling - I had to put in $40 more. Since there was only one opinion, it's all the information she had. If I had suggested a different amount, she might have compromised. To be honest, my bet was so big anyway that I was pot committed. It actually helped me to put more into the pot, because I really didn't want to see a turn. It's a stupid rule that is not uniformly enforced, but I knew the rule and had even violated it in the past. You are always safe by announcing the EXACT amount of the raise. You can even say, "RAISE," put out the amount of the initial bet, and then go back for more.

Don’t put more in your hand than you intend to bet, or better yet, announce the exact raise amount before your hand crosses the line. There is the added benefit that anyone paying attention may be giving you credit for coming up with the raise number after careful consideration (as opposed to blind guessing – the usual case), and fold just because they can’t figure you out.

Rules!

21 APR 07

I had another legendary night at the ‘shoot. I bought in for $100 at 4/8, moved quickly to 3/5 No Limit and finished at 20/40. My $100? Turned it into over $1400.

I so totally rock.

Rather than tell you how awesome I am, I want to discuss a rules question. I won the hand, so the outcome isn’t important.

I’m playing 3/5 No Limit. On the button I call a minimum raise with KQ and 7 of us (!) see a flop of Q 8 4 rainbow. It checks to the cutoff, who bets $15. I announce raise, grab a stack of chips and place 60 more over the line. What I have left in my hand comes back to my small stack. I am not certain how much I have left in my hand.

Crazy Asian Dude in the 5 seat, who has a hand, says, “That extra money plays.” He’s referring to the extra chips in my hand. He is correct. The problem is, I don’t remember how much it was. He tells the dealer it was about $40. The dealer tells me to put $40 extra out there. I refuse, saying that it shouldn’t be up to CAD, especially when he is just guessing. I agreed to abide by whatever the floor walker said.

What did Karen (the floor) tell me to do? Ryan, I’d really like to hear from you on this one, but anyone feel free to chime in.

As an aside, after all the bickering, CAD folded. It put the whole table on tilt, and I profited handsomely over the next hour.

Tilt?

20 APR 07

Did you ever go on tilt for no good reason? I haven’t played poker in over a week, so that can’t be it. My deployment is still 5 months away – no change there. I even heard from the doc who is out there now. He tells me it’s about the safest place in Baghdad.

I’m still 40. Been that way over a week now. Hmmm…

No. I really don’t think that’s it. If I force myself to think about it, I built up turning 40 pretty badly. The worst was about one month before the actual birthday. The day itself was pretty good – fun actually. I felt at peace with the inevitable and decided to enjoy it. Maybe the source of this unusual feeling is the reality of being 40 actually setting in.

I sure got a reminder of my age this week. I started playing racquetball again. Since I’m not one to go half-way, I decided to play 8 consecutive games.

Okay, so I’m a bit of a moron. At least I won 5 of them.

I can barely walk this week. Surely I didn’t struggle this much when I was younger (or in shape).

I’m still working on this one. Maybe it's some combination of all of it.

I Wish to Register a Complaint!

17 APR 07

Now that I sit in the Big Chair as the Chief of Staff for my department, I am occasionally the subject of criticism. I know. You find this hard to believe. How can anyone complain about someone so awesome?

We have 19 residents and 13 staff radiologists. Anytime you get a group that big, there is bound to be at least one disgruntled member. Well my disgruntlee has chosen to focus his incompetence in my direction. Not only that, but he chose to write it down and file a formal complaint. And he delivered it in person on my birthday.

Happy Birthday!

I won’t go into all the details. Believe it or not, there was actually some merit to a couple of his points. I just want to highlight some of my favorites.

Unprofessional Behavior: Among residents, it is a common complaint that residents feel that whenever we are on a service with Dr. Chako, he does not provide any help in getting through the daily work. What is most concerning is that he sits behind us and talks about his hobbies like vacations and poker while we are trying to get through studies. His behavior becomes a distraction.

Unprofessional Teaching. Staff members have very few days of assigned teaching per year. Dr. Chako, however, chose to have his wife, a financial accountant, lecture the residents on starting up a retirement savings. That day was assigned to him to teach us radiology and not his wife. Many residents were upset for having wasted their time.

Really?

So, this morning, I gathered all the residents together and apologized for my unprofessional behavior. I told them I’d never bring my wife back to lecture again. I also scolded them for not having the courage to come to me directly if they were so “upset for having wasted their time.” They wouldn’t even let me finish my sentence. Every single resident that attended my wife’s lecture reiterated how wonderful and important the information was. They also thanked me profusely for being the ONLY attending physician to show up to every single morning report.

Unfortunately, the complainer wasn’t there. He’ll be back next week. I have a feeling there are several of his peers that might want to have a chat with him.

Oh yeah, on that business about, “he does not provide any help in getting through the daily work.” It turns out that I am the most productive radiologist in the department. By far.

And, if you don’t like my bad beat stories, well, tough noogies.

Disneyland 2007!

16 APR 07

I could come up with awesome prose to describe my recent trip to the Happiest Place on Earth, or I could just show you this:

Electric Light Parade

Two handsome boys who can't sit still while waiting to shoot the Evil Emporer Zerg.

I totally have the hots for Elastegirl.

Playtime over! I can nap anywhere (just like my dad).

And, after a quick powernap, it's time for bathtub gymnastics!

Side Tracked

14 APR 07
I still plan on writing about my Disney trip, but I have a few things on my mind. Poker is intimately involved, but it’s a bit more personal. Bare with me.

As I walked around the Muckleshoot casino last night waiting for a table, I stopped and talked with many of the regulars, both players and dealers. This is my Cheers – a place where everyone knows your name. I feel like I belong there, and most players welcome me at their table. I’m sure they like me because I bring action and I suck, but I also think they enjoy talking with me. What can I say? I’m a likeable guy.

We just had one of the first really nice days here in the greater Seattle area. This comes after another brutal rainy season. As I sat in with one of the regulars a couple nights ago – a young attractive Asian girl who wears too much eyeliner - she peripherally noted that it was nice outside, but she had been at the table all day. This got me to thinking.

I think people enjoy talking to me because I have a life outside of poker. They want to talk about my military service, my life as a physician, interesting patients I’ve had, and their own medical problems. I’m more than happy to comply. If they can get a tell from me while I’m telling stories, good for them. My dad is a storyteller, and so am I. Can’t change who we are.

I guess this somehow relates to Disney after all. Bringing my family there is further proof of a life outside of poker. Even though one night I put everyone to bed and snuck out to Commerce, I was able to enjoy my primary purpose – spending quality time with my family before my deployment.

I’ve got a pretty good balance between poker and family, but I’m thinking I may need to change it a little. Maybe I need to get to where I have a good balance between family and poker.

Shouldn’t family come first?

Whew!

Just returned from Disneyland. I'll have to tell you about:

- California Adventure vs. Disney
- The best part of the vacation
- Playing at Commerce
- My Birthday presents
- The true meaning of passive/aggressive

Stay tuned. For now, I've got to get some sleep.

Tower of Terror

9 APR 07

I am enjoying a wonderful trip to Disneyland with the family, but I just had to share a quick conversation from the Tower of Terror.

A cute young Asian girl is working at the entrance and the line is paused, so she decides to make small talk. I am wearing a shirt that says, “US Army 10-miler, Washington, D.C, 1997.”

Cute Asian Girl (while looking at my shirt): Army 10 miler (pronounced miller). What’s that?

Dr. Chako: It’s a race.

CAG: Really? How far?

Dr. Chako (with remarkable restraint): Uh, 10 miles.

CAG: Wow! Is that on foot?

The TOT was awesome as usual. I may be 40, but sitting in that elevator with my son while shooting up and down, I’m still just a kid.

On Birthdays

5 APR 07

And other nonsense…

You’ve been listening to me lament about my upcoming 40th birthday for some time now. Thanks for putting up with me. Now that the day has arrived, I have a sense of peace. Well, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

To celebrate early, we had a wonderful dinner at Tokyo Garden, the local Teppan Yaki steakhouse. They even banged the drum and made me get up and dance to celebrate my birthday. The kids loved it. I went off my diet for the first time in a month, but it was worth it. On that note, I didn’t reach my weightloss goal of 160 pounds, but I did lose 12 and people are even beginning to notice. There is a picture of me and my family on the wall of the restaurant, and even I could tell that my face is thinner.

My 41st year will certainly not be dull. Hell, even my car decided to get into the action and turn over 60,000 miles this morning. Other upcoming events this year:

I begin my 6 month deployment to Iraq.
I get promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.
I get to go to Disneyland (day after tomorrow, in fact)
I get to see the Bat Mitzvah of my cousin’s kid.
We are flying in my Mother-in-Law so my wife and I can have a last fling in Hawaii before I head off to the desert.
I’ll finally get to purchase a Ferrari.

It’s going to be a good year.

My Family is So Helpful

4 APR 07

I just got this from my sister:

If you think about it…

Tomorrow is actually the start of your 41st year. So you can pretty much say you’ve already completed the first 40 years! I mean really…what’s 1 day when you’re talking about 365? Instead of being 40 tomorrow, you can say you’re OVER 40! Doesn’t that make you feel better??

Always glad to help,

-sis

Gee, thanks.

On another note, I’m headed to Disneyland on Saturday! Did you know Commerce is near there?

New Balance

3 APR 07

The big day is only two days away. I’m a bit numb to it now. At least I’ll be distracted. We had another doctor call in sick this week, so I’ll be covering three services. Happy friggin’ birthday to me.

The title of this post refers my new balanced look on life, but also to my purchase yesterday of brand-spankin-new sneaks. They even have a cool pivot point on the bottom lateral surface. That’s a good thing, because I’m playing racquetball again!

I’ve always been psycho about my hobbies. As I noted in my 101 Things About Me post, racquetball is one of my many loves that fell by the wayside in pursuit of other things. It was replaced by golf, which was then usurped by poker.

Well, I broke down and joined LA Fitness. They just opened a new one by my house and they have 4 state of the art courts and even a racquetball league! I was in there yesterday morning at 5 :30 am and the place was already hopping.

Anyone up for a game?

Vegas Trip Report

30 MAR 07

Spring Edition

I just returned last night from the Society of Thoracic Radiology meeting at the Red Rocks in Las Vegas. Well, technically it’s in Summerlin. In case you are wondering, that’s about:

a. 25 minutes from the Strip
b. $30 to $50 from the Strip
c. A world away from the Strip
d. All of the above

If you guessed D, you are correct. I’ll have more thoughts in the coming days, but here are some things I jotted down.

Met Pauly, Change100, Amy Calistri (we never did get to share notes on mid-life crises!), Derek and Miami Don. Amy was even nice enough to note the occasion:

As we were playing, a familiar face approached the table. OMG, it was Dr. Chako! If you’ve not caught up with his blog lately, Dr. Chako is reveling in his newfound mid-life crisis. What better place to wallow one’s own mortality than Vegas.

Other random thoughts:

I am a winning craps player!

I am a winning 2/5 No Limit player!

I lost a ton donking around at ½ No Limit.

I lost another ton at 30/60 Limit.

Here are some other thoughts I wrote on my Blackberry:

Arrived at 6 PM on Saturday. Zero people on the taxi line. 1st corny line heard at the airport "If you hang with me, I'll make sure you go home with a heavier suitcase.”

Using my Blackberry in the taxi makes me motion sick.

Weird thought about graphic novel. More later.

At baggage claim, I'm forced to stare at a huge smiling David Hasselhof, who is staring in The Producers at The Paris Hotel. Europeans must be coming here in increasing numbers.

I am greeted at McCarran Airport with a tram ride from Gate D. Check out the mural below. There are separate panels for different cities like Toronto and NY. The NY panel shows a large jet with flames coming out the back headed toward the Statue of Liberty. WTF? Sorry for the crappy camera phone photo.

Vegas, Baby!

23 MAR 07

I’m headed out Saturday (tomorrow) for sin city. For any bloggers that might be out there, consult the old Gmail spreadsheet for my number and give me a call. I’ll be staying at the Suncoast (long story) and attending a conference at Red Rocks Sunday thru Thursday. Otherwise, look for me at Table 1 in the Bellagio.*




*Okay, maybe NEAR Table 1. Like I’m really gonna play 4000/8000 with Negreanu.

The Birds and the Bees - Part II

For my RSS readers, please see Part I here. This part of the conversation begins after the question, "Do you know what Fertilize means?"

Dr. Chako: That means that something has to happen to the egg in order for it to become a baby.

Son: Do I have eggs?

Dr. Chako: Good question! No you don’t. Only girls have them, and guess what? All girls have eggs, right from when they are born. Isn’t that cool? You have something different, and now we are getting to the important stuff.

Son: What’s that?

Dr. Chako: In order for the egg to get fertilized it needs sperm.

Son: Like the sperm whale?

Dr. Chako: Kinda. Well, no. Not really. Um…

Son: You okay, Dad?

Dr. Chako: (Recovering). Yeah. Anyway, do you know how the sperm gets to the egg?

Son: Nope.

Dr. Chako: The sperm comes from your penis.

Son: Ewww!

Dr. Chako: You may not think that in a couple years. In order to get the sperm there, a man puts his penis into a woman’s vagina.

Son: Ewww!

Dr. Chako: (Laughing) Do you know what that’s called?

Son: (A little embarrassed) Yeah. I heard you say it about mommy, but without the “y.”

Dr. Chako: Huh?

Son: Sexy. Well… sex.

Dr. Chako: It’s also called making love. But wait, there’s more. Do you think you could get your penis into a vagina?

Son: Ummm… no.

Dr. Chako: It would be kinda tough, right? Well, something has to happen first. Your penis has to get hard. Has that ever happened to you? Like, when you first wake up in the morning?

Son: (Excited) Yeah! Or when I tickle myself down below my belly button!

Dr. Chako: (Showing incredible restraint) Exactly. Well, when your penis gets hard, it’s called an erection, and it makes it easy to put your penis into a woman’s vagina. Here’s the other thing. Right now, only one thing comes out of your penis.

Son: Potty!

Dr. Chako: Right. But pretty soon, your voice will start to change and you’ll get armpit hair and you’ll need deodorant like we talked about, right? (He’s been asking us to smell his pits to see if he’s ready for deodorant.)

Son: You mean puberty.

Dr. Chako: Exactly. Well, the other thing that happens is that your body is preparing to make sperm. It also comes out of your penis and it looks very different from potty. It’s white and creamy. Someday, you’ll meet a woman and fall in love and get married. When you are ready to make babies, this is what you’ll do. What do you think?

Son: Well, I guess I’m glad you told me, but… I kinda wish you hadn’t.

Dr. Chako: (Laughing) Maybe so, but it’s important you know these things. Any questions?

Son: Nope!

Dr. Chako: Goodnight, son.

Son: ‘Night, Dad!

I heard a story on NPR about kids saying that their parents never talked to them about the birds and the bees, and I didn’t want to be in that group. My conversation was not perfect, but it’s the best I could do. Feel free to plagiarize, copy, duplicate or otherwise steal this conversation and call it your own.

The Birds and the Bees

20 MAR 07

Two events of momentous proportions have coincided, so I figured I’d commemorate them on my blog. I got my first ever live Royal Flush (had two online, but those don’t count right?), and my buddy Andrew BET INTO ME on the river, and I had “The Talk” with my 9 year old. When I look back on this day, I want to remember both events.

My son had been asking questions about reproduction for quite some time. Mom and I have been very good about answering in generalities, but I felt it was time to get specific. I waited until bed time, and it went something like this:

Dr. Chako: Son, it’s time I let you in on a little secret. It’s a secret all grownups know, and it’s your turn.

Son: Cool. What is it?

Dr. Chako: It’s about the birds and the bees (I actually said that – mostly for historical significance). You’ve been asking a lot about where babies come from, and now I’m going to tell you.

Son: I know where they come from – mommy's tummy.

Dr. Chako: That’s true, but do you know how they get in there?

Son: Umm, the egg?

Dr. Chako: Exactly! They start as an egg, but something has to happen first. Mommy mentioned it earlier this evening. Do you remember the word? It starts with an “F.”

Son: Umm, no.

Dr. Chako: The word was Fertilize (what were you thinking?).

Son: Oh yeah.

Dr. Chako: Do you know what that means?

Son: Not really, no.

Part II tomorrow

I Hate Cats

19 MAR 07

But they sure can make you smile.




And, in honor of Iggy, I give you the (UFC) Ultimate Fighting Cats.

Editors Note: Tomorrow we discuss the Birds and the Bees.

Omaha Question

17 MAR 07

Call, Raise or Fold?

Drizz, I’m looking at you.

The Muckleshoot spread 4/8 Omaha 8 last night! They even had a full kill to 8/16. Seattle John managed to pull me away from the 20/40 game to donk around with a little eastern Nebraska high-low action. It actually wasn’t that hard to pull me away – I ran really badly really quickly. John’s reminder to play tight when the game is loose came a little too late. I’ll stop before this turns into a bad beat story.

So, donk around I did in the game with too many hole cards. First let me start by saying that before I got into the hold’ em game, I played 1-4 Stud for about an hour. Walked away a winner, too! This marks the first time I played three different ring games in one session. If you count limit and no limit hold ‘em, that makes 4.

Anyway – to the hand. Without too much fan fare, here is the question.

4 of you get to the river which cinches your nut low and gives you the second nut straight for high. You bet right out. Call, call and the button raises.

Call, Raise or Fold?

Editors Note: Before I tell you what I did, apparently it was the wrong choice. It even brought a “You dumb ass!” from Seattle John.

Friday Smiles

16 MAR 07

When you have 5 doctors doing to work of 19, you get a little burned out. I’m starting to get that hysterical giggle. You know the kind, you’re stressed out and something funny sets you off. You can’t help it. People look at you strange and, despite your embarrassment, you can’t stop laughing.

These two items set me off. You WILL NOT find them as funny as I did, but I hope they make you smile (even if they are a little twisted).

The first is from an invitation my wife sent out to her firm. She is throwing a party to reward her team for some really hard work. I should note that this invitation went to most of her office, including several partners and even the managing partner. It said, in part:

I'M THROWING A PARTY!!!

DATE: FRIDAY, MARCH 24TH

TIME: AFTER WORK (DOORS OPEN AT 6:30 - CLOSE WHEN THE LAST GUY LEAVES)

PLACE: CHATEAU CHAKO

DETAILS: FRIENDLY GAMES OF CHANCE (Low stakes) WITH FUN PRIZES; BIG SCREEN TV

Since I was included in the mass email, I hit REPLY TO ALL and sent this:

A quick note from Dr. Chako: The big screen TV is not, I repeat, NOT one of the prizes in the friendly games of chance. If you try to leave with my TV, I'll sick my dog on you.

The other funny is this comic from xkcd.com. The caption really put me over the edge.

Fun game: Find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: Pregnancy test and a single coat hangar.

Family Values?

15 MAR 07

Editors Note: The follow may or may not have happened all or in part last night.

So, I took the FAMILY out last night for a FAMILY dinner to a nice FAMILY restaurant, Marie Callender’s. Great salad bar. Our traditional FAMILY of 4 enters the well appointed lobby and waits next to an eclectic group of 8. There is a traditional mother and father type, a friend or two and a mess of teenagers. Two female teens stand out.

Female teen #1 is your traditional Goth chick. Long dark hair, long dark duster and dark eye makeup.

Female teen #2 is your typical girl next door cheerleader type. They are whispering to each other and giggling. Good for them.

As my 9 year old looks on with the curiosity of, well, a 9 year old, Goth chick plants a deep tongue kiss on cheerleader girl. Eclectic mob reacts not at all. The Chako family stands in stunned silence, thinking our own private thoughts.

My son: Daddy…?

Dr. Chako: Um… what?

Son: Wha….?

Dr. Chako: Good question, son. Let’s ask.

Tap tap on Goth-girl’s shoulder.

Dr. Chako: Excuse me. My son here is curious. Aren’t you two women?

Goth-girl and cheerleader turn to look at each other and are now sharing in the stunned silence.

Dr. Chako: I have an open mind, but I’ve never had the chance to talk to my son about what we have here. Since you two seem quite comfortable, would you care to talk to my kid about alternative relationships?

At that point, we get called to our table, so I guess I’ll never know what their answer was. They sat near us and gave us curious stares while they ate. My son was oblivious. I was not.

Push It – Response

13 MAR 07

Hunter left yet another insightful comment on my blog from yesterday. I didn’t want it lost to the masses, so I’m elevating it to Guest Post Status. Enjoy.

Is there a correlation between poker and weight loss? Or, better yet, poker and the failure to lose weight?

As someone who has spent a lifetime trying all sorts of diets, including Dr. Stillman's, Dr. Atkins, Dr. Bernstein's, Weight Watchers, The Turbulent Diet, the Caveman Diet, the High Protein diet, the No-Carb, the No-Fat, and the No-Food diet, the West Point diet, the South Beach diet, the Alcatraz diet, the Heart Association diet, the Diabetic diet, the Chocolate diet, the yogurt diet, Slim-Fast, Metracal, Nutri-System, Rancher's Diet, Lumberjack's Diet and, finally, the Sex-instead-of-Food Diet, I am acutely aware of the difficulty involved.

Furthermore, I have concluded, that if the mind is not focused on the diet, failure is inevitable.

The list of distractions far outnumber the list of diets, and include such things as magic tricks, loud music, barking dogs, unruly children, a Hell's Angel's procession, car crashes, parachute jumpers, structures on fire and, of course, beautiful women in various stages of undress.

However, in a recent scientific study, it has been shown that there is a new distraction that causes weight-loss failure. That distraction is POKER. Unfortunately, the game is insidious. Much like marijuana, the participant is totally unaware of his body's need for munchies.

So, Poker Players take heed. If dieting is your priority, stay out of the casinos.

Hunter Silvastorm
http://www.huntersilvastorm.com/

Push It!

11 MAR 07

The title of this post refers to many things. It’s my sister’s favorite song (a little Salt to go with that Pepa?), but it also refers to me and my style, not just in poker, but in life.

I went running this morning. I told my wife that I ended up stopping and walking a couple of times because I pushed a little too hard. She asked me why I do that.

‘Cause it’s who I am.

Similar thing from last night. I had an incredible rush of cards, including a hammer toss! First hand of the night. I post the big blind in a 3/5 spread limit game (max buy-in $300, $3 and $5 blinds). 8 limpers (!) and I look down at 7 2 off-suit. The flop is K 7 2. I bet ½ the pot. MP guy raises to $50. Everyone folds back to me and I make it $100. He calls. The turn is a 6. I bet $100. He calls. The river is an Ace. I’m a little nervous, but I trust my read and go all-in. He goes in the tank (whew)! I say, “I’ll show you. You can pay for it if you want, but you are going to see it either way.” He calls and turns over K 10. I drop the hammer on my first hand and double up.

I parlay that into a stake at 20/40. Long story short, I ran it up to almost $2000.

Push it!

Long story shorter. I cashed out a winner for the night. At 5 am, (damn time change), I pocketed my profit for the evening.

$20.

I could have walked away earlier. I got tired. I had good pre-flop discipline, but a combination a bad timing and a few unlucky rivers (and, I admit, a few bad reads), decimated the profits. I’m still learning this game.

***

On another note, I’m forced to admit that I might not make my weight loss goal. I’m close. I’m doing the Atkins diet and exercising. I don’t think I can lose the 11 pounds by the first week of April, though. Still, I’m not giving up.

Weight: 171 (started at 184)

Tells

10 MAR 07

I always had the feeling when reading some poker books that pros instruct us on some tells they’ve seen, but keep the best ones to themselves. I’ve never been great about reading tells. Yesterday I encountered two that became very profitable.

Mike Caro, in his section of Super/System 2 said that most poker players are actors. Seeming weakness means strength and visa versa. A young Asian business major from USC was three seats to my left, and he had the whole Hiro Nakamura look going. He was a fairly good player, but he had a screaming tell. It was so unbelievable that I forced myself not to act on it until I could confirm it at least three times. Sure enough, it happened all three.

When he had a hand, he would place his bet across the line on the felt. When he was drawing, he would stack his chips in front of him (behind the line) and then push his chips across the line with the tips of his finger nails. What made this a profitable tell was that he was good enough to fold when my raise priced him out of an obvious draw.

***

The other tell was different. I’m not sure if I can call it an actual tell. Sir Robert is a legend at the Muckleshoot. He must have tons of money because there is absolutely no way he can be a profitable poker player, yet I always see him in the biggest games they run. Strangely, the few times I’ve played with him, I’ve seen him come away a winner every time. His strategy is this – Play Every Hand and Suck Out.

The tell is foreknowledge that you cannot bluff him out of a pot. He’s completely predictable. If he has bottom pair, he will call you to the river - an ultimate high-stakes calling station. The trick is, if you can isolate him, don’t bet if there is a chance he has you beat. You simply cannot put him on a hand. The other tell is, if he has been calling all the way and then bets into you on the river, you are beat. I don’t care if you flopped a set. I don’t care how non-scary the river card looks. You are beat – fold.

These two tells lead to yet another very profitable session. I’m ready for Vegas. Two weeks!

Difference between Military and civilian Friends

8 MAR 07

I just got the email below from an old military friend. It reminds me about some of the good about being in the Army. It’s always been about the people.

Some have asked me to comment about the situation at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. I won’t go there other than to say that there has never been a complaint about the quality of medical care patients receive while at the hospital. It’s only afterwards that there is a problem. There are more wounded soldiers than you can believe, but that’s the price we pay.

Similar complaints have been levied against my hospital (Madigan Army Medical Center), but it’s mostly noise. We do it well here. In fact, I would want MY family seen here, and I can’t say that about everywhere I’ve been.

One quick poker note – played a great short session last night that involved getting heads up a few times with my buddy Ryan. I tripled up (no thanks to Ryan) with a few good plays and a few lucky cards. Dammit Ryan, did you have me beat when I showed that top pair hand?

Oh yeah – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

Now to the email…

Subject: Difference between Military and civilian Friends

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having last time you met.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...we screwed up...but man that was fun!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you behind.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences. ..
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no civilian could ever dream of...

Truckin's Up!

7 MAR 07

I love when someone does the blogging work for me. In this case, I get to pimp the greatest online magazine on the web – Truckin’. I’ve been fortunate enough to get one story in there and (well, maybe aside from my one story), every short story, poem or essay is top notch. If, like me, you are tired and bored with most web content, give this issue a spin.

Truckin - March 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 3

1. Slices by Paul McGuire I'd spent most of my time partying hard doing blow with C-List actors while avoiding the daylight and roaming the city late at night during one of the most rowdy benders I'd undertaken in the past few years. We were vampires, sleeping during the days and partying every night until sunrise. I would not crash until 6 AM and by the time I'd wake up, everyone on the East Cast was leaving work for the day... More

2. The Next Block by Joe Speaker The crowd was a stew of unwashed urchins. My kind of people: musicians, writers and hustlers. Feast or famine in this town; the middle class doesn't pass the velvet rope, or lead the newscasts. Sally from Chatsworth is home making fucking meatloaf...

3. Killing Independent George by Wil Wheaton We played on for another few levels, the clatter of shuffling chips frequently interrupted by the TD announcing the exit of famous actor after famous actor. I will admit that it felt good to be outlasting them., though I will also admit that it was the most Pyhrric of Pyhrric victories: where it really counts in Hollywood, they all have their names on call sheets, while I have mine on a blog... More

4. Everything You Need to Know About Driving in LA by Change100 In order to become a true L.A. driving warrior, you will sometimes have to be the asshole. This doesn't mean you're a bad person -- it only contributes to your overall savviness. By understanding that this attitude is just an unfortunately necessary part of your own survival, inner peace will come much easier... More

5. 15 Seconds by Dan Keston With minimal experience and a microscopic budget, I found a way to make a movie about kids and guns that was not only interesting enough to be one of sixteen selections out of five-thousand entries at the most prestigious festival in the world, but also the topic of a story on NPR and the lovechild of the largest gun lobby in Washington... More

6. Three Strikes and You're In by Dr. Tim Lavalli It was then that I realized I may have made a mistake trying to have a 'break-up' dinner here. Becca's gastronomic creations always put me at ease but ease was not the best place for easily ending a relationship. Besides the vaunted 'do it in public break-up' was a cowardly way out... More

Editors Note: I'm too lazy to fix the few links that didn't come across correctly. Go to the main page of Truckin' and link from there, ya lazy bastid.

The Rush Continues

6 MAR 07

Got right into 10/20 and doubled up. It was a very tight table and I was able to push it around with ease. Well, until one Crazy Asian decided to call my river bluff with Jack-high – and it was good! It was perhaps one of the best calls I’ve ever seen. My job was to figure out – was he really that good, or just curious?

One of my favorite Doyle Brunson quotes:

“He may go home broke, but he won’t go home curious.”

It turns out he was just the curious type. I had most of his money within the next half hour. The following hand helped.

I raise from early position with J 10 of diamonds. Crazy Asian just calls. Flop is Q 9 of diamonds for the open-ended straight-flush draw. Check, check and the turn brings the King of diamonds. I think I pooped. I announce to the table, “I can NOT bet this hand.” Remember, there is a bad beat jackpot at the ‘shoot that is sitting at $130,000. If he somehow has a set (and didn’t raise?) and quads up on the river, I take home ¼ of that jackpot.

Anyway, after my basically telling the entire table exactly what I had, he bets! I just call. The river is a blank, so I bet out. He calls and I show my king-high straight flush. It’s good for the high hand, but get this – there were two other King-high straight flushes, so I only got $67!

I’m freerolling now, so when they call me for 20/40, I’m in. Talk about a contrast of styles. 20/40 is the biggest game running, and so all the players are the usual 50/100 guys. 4 to 6 players in every hand and most pots were three bet or capped. I went from super loose to Captain Squeeky. From the big blind I call one raise into a 6 way pot with pocket threes. The flop is J 3 3. Damn right – I flopped quads! Unfortunately, this was not a super aggressive hand, so I ONLY made $400. I still got one non-believer to call me to the river.

So, I flopped quads and hit a straight flush within two hours. Of course, I bought a lottery ticket. Mega Millions stands to be the largest lottery drawing in history. It’s today and the jackpot currently sits at $355 million. They are doing the drawing in Times Square.

I can’t lose.

Vegas in March!

5 MAR 07

That’s right boys and girls – I’m headed to Las Vegas! The Army is sending me to the Red Rocks for the Society of Thoracic Radiology annual meeting. I’ll be there from March 23rd thru the 28th. Believe it or not, I plan on actually going to the meetings, but I’ll still have plenty of time for poker. My buddy Josh is coming, and we may even get in a little golf on Monday.

Anyone going to be out there at that time? If so, you all should still have the contact sheet from the last WPBT. Shoot me an email or just call my cell phone.

Less than three weeks!!!

70’s and 80’s Power Rock

1 MAR 07

I was thinking about great rock from the 70’s and 80’s and trying to come up with songs that had a “moment.” You know, when an awesome drum beat or opening guitar riff just hit you in the gut. Here are my first thoughts:

Money for Nothing – Dire Straits. When the music builds beyond all reason and Knopfler kicks in that guitar – awesome.

We Will Rock You – Queen. Foot stomping and hand clapping mayhem.

Bohemian Rhapsody – Also Queen. The “moment” was immortalized in Wayne’s World in the AMC Pacer.

In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins. That drum beat half way thru the song. Two sticks per hit. Da-da. Da-da. Da-da. Da-da. Da. Da. Boom. “I can feel it comin’…”

Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions. HUGE guitar and drum opening, classic 80's power rock.

How could I forget AC/DC?! Church bells, anyone? Listening to AC/DC now, I'm amazed at how they did so much with relatively slow beats. Other than things like Thunderstruck, think about how slowly Hells Bells starts.

Hells Bells via the Wiki

You Tube – Great old AC/DC!

I’m having a hard time coming up with anything today that makes me feel like these songs did. What does it for you?