Houston, we have lift off . . .

Guest post, courtesy of The Wife . . .

To DrChako's fellow bloggers, poker pals, and other loyal friends and readers, I post tonight to let you know he's taken the next step in our latest reality show. Several hours ago, he called me from Bangor, Maine to let me know he would soon be on his way to the big sandbox across the sea. As I type, he is likely somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, so thoughts and prayers for a safe flight. I am sure he will send a post for me soon; suffice it to say that he was in the best mood possible for a man about to go to war. Or maybe that was just to keep me from crying.

He did tell me that at the Bangor airport, the troops were met by volunteer veterans (up way past any normal person's bedtime) just there to shake our soldier's hands and wish them well on their journey. I guess that's the great part about being an American - we can criticize the politics behind this war every day in our news, and yet a group of aging veterans will drag themselves to an airport at 11:00 p.m. at night to wish people they don't know a safe journey. Small things tend to restore my wavering faith in humanity these days.

Technically, this is a poker blog, not a place for me to be maudlin. I'll save that for another blog I'm cooking up in my head - "Sending Your Spouse to War Sucks." So with that in mind, here is some obligatory poker (sort of) content:

The good Dr. and I have two wonderful sons. One of Son #1's best traits is a natural curiousity and genuine interest in fully exploring a topic of interest. Son #1 is fascinated with DrChako's poker habit: he likes to watch our "no money, all glory" home matches head-to-head, comment on our online plays, and have DrChako share stories from the poker room. He's also my son, so he understands the importance of a dollar. He's fully aware that DrChako's bankroll is a negotiated amount that can only continue to exist through good play, as the accountant in me will not let large amounts of our hard-earned wages to be dropped in someone else's pockets.

Last weekend, Son#1 spent time with his buddy Ryan. Ryan's parents are divorced, so with all of the finagling that went on about whose house he would be at, Son #1 must have had the topic on his mind. So after dropping Ryan off, we drive home and Son #1 says "Mom, would you ever divorce Dad?"

What a loaded question. Of course, I jump quickly to say "Son, I love your father. You don't divorce people you love." He pressed on. "What would make you divorce him?" I calmly replied that it would take something pretty big. "Son, Daddy and I have fights, but we love each other. Grandma and Grandpa fight and they've been married 37 years! Daddy would have to do something really terrible for me to not love him enough to stay married to him." I figured this was good enough. I was wrong.

"I know!" Son #1 exclaimed. He feels pretty good about himself when he thinks he's figured it out. "I bet that if Dad gambled the house in a poker game, and lost it, then you'd probably divorce him."

For a 10-year old, he's got this woman pretty well figured-out!

Safe travels, dear Dr. . . . and to the rest of you, keep the comments coming. I think my periodic recaps of your comments (where he is at, the blog site has been blocked) do wonders for his spirits.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

On his way . . .

As DrChako begins the labyrinth of deployment preparation at a far away location, and unable to post regularly, he has given me leave to guest post. Heretofore, I have been a mere snide comment or two in his posting history. Most of the time, I use my commentary to keep him honest, keep him humble, and poke a little fun. Today, I post in seriousness, as I truly love and miss my DrChako. So bear with me . . .

Friday, August 31, 2007

I'm convinced that poker players are an odd lot. Take no offense; being an occasional one myself, and being married to one DrChako, I speak from personal experience. However, in these last few days, as we have prepared to send the good Dr. off to serve in an unpopular war, in an unfriendly country, under the command of a man who has not gained the worldwide support he really needs to make this kind of action successful, I am thoroughly impressed with the support you have shown him through your words. While I know some of you know him more intimately (as some of his precious wages may have made their way into your pockets, at some point in time), a few of you may only know him through his words, and still you send your good wishes. You hearts are in the right place.

I fight a bit of self-pity; after all, I am losing my husband, my lover, my co-parent, and my best friend for a long time, with no certainty as to how frequently I will be able to communicate with him. However, I know spouses who have been without their loved ones for far longer; families for whom this is a second or third tour of duty; families without the support at work, the support of other friends and families, and without the financial resources to find ways to make this easier. So today, I ask not for myself, but for the good Dr. and others:

1. Keep him in your thoughts, as well as all those men and women (you too, Sis) who are just over there doing their jobs to the best of their ability, in a situation that can never match the frustrations, boredom, overtime, under appreciation, or office politics the rest of us endure in our jobs.

2. If you believe in prayer, then I welcome one on DrChako's behalf, in whatever form that comes, and to whichever being you believe watches over good people.

3. If you do not believe in prayer, then believe that on some level, our collective good wishes have to do him and others some good, somehow, so keep them coming.

4. Keep our oldest son in mind; he's been strong beyond belief, for a 10-year old, until last night when he broke down in tears. "I knew this day would come; I just knew it. I kept hoping that something would blow up all the bad people over there, so that Daddy wouldn't have to go!" Today he confessed to a family friend that he knew he was expected to be the man of the house and he wasn't sure how he was going to do that; think of him as he tries to determine if each day he needs to be 10, or 20.

5. Keep our youngest son in mind; he's not sure what this all means, but as we walked to the garage to take his father to the airport, he patted my back and said "Don't cry when Daddy leaves, ok?" When we left the airport, me with tears streaming down my face, he looked me in the eyes and said "If I hug you a lot, will that make you better?" He threw up in the car 3 blocks from the house (he gets carsick sometimes), and as I jumped out to clean things up, in total "mom" mode, my sadness momentarily averted, he cheerfully said "You sound much better now, Mom." He's only 4, but his heart is as big as anyones.

6. Keep in mind the front lines. DrChako is an officer; he'll be afforded conveniences others might not. No one is perfectly safe, but he's not going to be that scared 19 year-old guy who's tasked to go investigate the suspicious-looking package on the side of the road. If you know one of those guys, make sure you send HIM a few decks of cards, magazines, books, . . . anything to make it seem more like home.

7. Keep blogging. I have only met a few of you (alcanthang, drizz, Will Wheaton, DrPauly), but I know how much entertainment value you provide to DrChako, and how he lives vicariously through your escapades when he can't be there in Vegas with you. Keep giving him a little piece of your abnormal "normality"!

Now I'm sure I've got some accounting to do . . . so thanks for your kind words on my husband's behalf, and may your aces in the hole always hold up on the river!

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

Daniel’s Broiler!

30 AUG 07

I really hadn’t intended on posting another blog until I got to Iraq, but this is way too cool. To celebrate my last good meal, my wife and I decided to go to our favorite restaurant in Washington – Daniel’s Broiler. It sits on the southern tip of Lake Union and has incredible views of enormous boats and beautiful homes. The food is always outstanding and their wine selection can’t be beat. I had a Red Diamond Cabernet and my wife had an Argentinean wine called a Malbeck (Malback?). It reminder her of a cab without the oak and it left a slight aftertaste that hinted of candy. Amazing.

Before the meal we sat at the bar. I had a Manhattan and my wife had a fruity drink with cranberry, pineapple and vanilla vodka. The piano player was out of this world. I requested Scenes from an Italian Restaurant and he knocked it out of the park.

The meal. Wow. Filet and lobster tail with asparagus and mushrooms. The mashed potatoes by themselves were worth the trip. Then came the first surprise – champagne and strawberries dipped in chocolate. We didn’t request desert, but it was really nice. I told them when I made the reservation that is was a special night.

Surprise #2 blew me away. We met with the manager, who knew that this was where I chose to have my last meal before leaving for Iraq. He thanked me for my service to our country in words and deeds.

“On the house.”

What?

That’s right – the whole thing was free. It was his way of thanking me and I was speechless. We overtipped our waiter, the piano player and the valet, of course. I just want to say a hearty THANK YOU to the folks at Daniel’s Broiler. Go there if you are ever in town.

I Wonder if He Left Already?

29 AUG 07

Nope folks, I’m still here. Sorry for the lack of posting, but it turns out there is a lot to do before you go to Iraq. I got all my shots this week. The Anthrax shot hurts like a bitch. There are actually 5 more Anthrax shots in my near future, too.

I updated my Will and completed 8 different general and special Powers of Attorney for my wife and family. I checked my glasses (it will be weird not wearing contacts – strictly verboten), and made sure I have special glasses that go into my gas mask, should the need arise.

This was strange. I had to fill out a form that gives someone information on my background like where I went to high school and what the mascot was. This presumably makes it easier to locate me if I’m captured. I even needed to come up with a “stress word.” I use it if I’m captured and unable to tell someone I’m under duress. I’m supposed to work it into casual conversation. It feels very James Bond. I have very strong doubts that the people who are attempting to free me will know where to find this information.

Now comes the hard part. My family is taking me to the airport in Seattle Friday morning. Goodbyes are tough. Thank goodness for my new webcam!

Happy Birthday, Son!

Sorry for the lack of posting. Things have been busy as I prepare to depart for Iraq. My son turned 10 today (Harry Chapin anyone?). When asked what he was getting for his birthday, he replied, “A Brazilian.”

Meet our new Brazilian Au Pair, Tatiane.



Happy birthday, son. I will think of this great day a lot when I’m “downrange.”

Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

16 AUG 07

I grew up with Mr. Rogers, and I can still hear him singing this ditty. I was singing it tonight in the casino as I waited to hear if my name was drawn for the $5000 per hour give away to frequent poker players (I wasn’t called). Here are the people in my neighborhood (the Muckleshoot casino).

Thousand Mile Stare

This guy was about 50, black and had an unlit cigarette jutting straight out from his lips. He was just coming into the casino as I was leaving and it was obvious that the lights and sounds triggered the correct Pavlovian response in his brain. He was home.

The Crying Lady

This was a white female with big hair in her mid-50s. What struck was that she was crying while coming INTO the casino from the parking lot. Away demons!

Hot Crossed Buns

This was the 20-something who was railbirding her boyfriend for the last 3 hours. She finally thought they were done, but as her tattooed honey was reaching for his 5th re-buy, she stormed out of the poker room. Play halted at every table she passed so the players could stare at her gloriousness. Remember guys, no matter how hot she is, someone, somewhere thinks she’s a bitch.

Dapper Floor Dude

Okay. This one was Ryan in his new role as floor walker. It’s actually a pay cut from dealing, but if that’s the price you pay to become a full-time dealer, so be it. I’m still waiting on some killer blog posts about your new role. Any good fights?

Generally Nice People

In a poker room? Is this possible? Actually, it is. Most dealers and many players know me and my story quite well. Tonight as I talked with Peter, Ryan, Heather (she’ll always be “Triple-H” to me), Mary, Dave and Judy I realized that good people are everywhere. They all wished me good luck and a safe return from Iraq.

Here’s hoping their wishes come true.

Fill in your Own Bad Beat Ending

12 Aug 07

First off, my last day of work was Friday. They put together a really nice pot luck and a lot of people said some really nice things about me. I was pretty overwhelmed. I didn’t get choked up like I’ve seen others do, but I did feel the gravity of the event.

I hope to continue blogging as I prepare to deploy to Iraq, and even when I get there. For now, I leave you with a cleverly disguised bad beat story.

I’m playing a $20 buy-in tournament. There are 45 players and it’s first round action. Two seats to my right is a young maniac who keeps saying, “It’s only $20. I’m all in.” He has been called three times and has shown 8 4, J 2 and the hammer (7 2 off suit)! He’s won all three.

Rather than go all in pre-flop, he chooses to call. I look down at pocket 5s and call as well. There is 300 in the pot. I have 800 behind. The flop is Q Q 4. He checks, I bet ½ the pot. He goes all in. I call, putting him on either nothing or the 4. Turns out it was nothing.

He turns over K 3 for king-high.

How did I get knocked out? I’ll tell you he didn’t spike a king or get running 3s.

HOPS and Hops and Closing Shop

10 AUG 07

I apologize for the title of this post. It made sense to me. Let’s see if I can make it make sense to you.

I was driving into work this morning and the announcer on NPR said there was a story coming up about how most hops in America originated in the Northwest. My military mind immediately thought of Air Force hops that take government personnel around the world at a discounted rate. When I found out the story was actually about beer, I laughed out loud.

You see, that’s how my mind is programmed. I’ve been in the military for almost 21 years. I don’t really even remember life “on the outside.”

That’s why today is so interesting and emotional. Today is my last day of work at Madigan Army Medical Center in Tacoma, Washington. I’m taking a couple days off before I start outprocessing (another military term) in preparation to go to Baghdad. As I’ve noted before, as soon as I get back from Iraq, I’ll begin outprocessing again – this time to get out of the Army for good.

I wonder how I’ll feel at this time next year when I’m no longer in the Army.

Penn and Teller Prove the Existence of Sheep

8 AUG 07

Watch this video. I totally would have signed. Not because I don’t know what the substance is (I AM a physician after all), but the petitioner is totally hot.

For my RSS readers, here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw

Editors Note: It's a sad day folks. That lying cheat Barry Bonds broke the home run record. This is just one more reason why I am boycotting Major League Baseball. The world is looking at us, folks.

"Cheat to win." That's the message.

Poker Content!

3 AUG 07

An actual hand history. I’m pretty sure you won’t see this one on other blogs.

It’s 15/30 and an extremely loose table. 5 and 6 way action is the norm. The pattern is an early raise and multiple callers.

UTG, you look down at As-Jc. Not a great hand, so I can certainly understand the argument to throw this away, especially at this table. Figuring it’s the best hand, you raise to $30.

But wait! You totally forgot that this is a kill-pot. This next hand is 30/60, so all you did was call. Moron.

Now the table kicks into high gear. You get re-raised by a tight player and capped by the loosest player at the table. 3 more callers (all calling $240 cold!), and it gets back to you. You have to call three more bets here to see a flop ($180).

What do you do?

Follow up. The flop is 4c-4s-5c. What do you do now?

Minnesota Bridge Collapse

2 AUG 07

I’ve driven over this bridge a few times and never gave it a second thought.

My thoughts are with the unfortunate drivers now.

Thanks to conphoto for the great shots.

Deal, the Movie

31 July 07

So, there is a new poker movie coming out. It’s got Shannon Elizabeth. It’s got Burt Reynolds. It stars a hot shot named Alex Stillman.

Oh boy.

I always knew a good looking poker player named Stillman would end up with Shannon Elizabeth. I just thought it’d be me (just kidding, honey).

Check out the trailer and synopsis.

Deal, the Movie

Fantastic Weekend!

30 July 07

We went whale watching yesterday. It was declared the “worst day ever” by my son because we didn’t see any whales. Then he started talking about all the cool stuff we saw – the bald eagles, the harbor seals, the cool boats and all the different islands. I think he had a blast.

We have been living in the greater Seattle area for three years, but we only do the cool stuff when family and friends come to visit. My dad and his girlfriend (de facto wife?) Judy are here from Florida. Dad can’t see, but he still had a great time listening to us describe the scenery.

We ate dinner at Daniel’s Broiler on Lake Union. Spectacular views, amazing food and great conversation. Seeing the Ferrari parked directly across from our minivan was desert.

Oh yeah. Poker was played. Ace on the river beat me 3 damn times. Still, these home games are a blast. My favorite quote is from Judy, “Oh what the heck. I call. I have Ace high.”

It was good.

Rockfish

Turn up your speakers. Thank me later.



Perhaps I'm the only one who didn't know about this film. Who cares. It's incredible.

For my RSS readers, here is the link:

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/rockfish.jsp

Ferrari’s on 12th

25 July 2007

Every year, the local Seattle Ferrari (and other exotic) owners gather at Ferrari and Maserati of Seattle on 12th Ave. to show off their cars and raise money for a local children’s charity. I got there with the kids just as they were pulling away. The sound was amazing and will surely be on my mind over the next few months while I’m playing in the sand. The video is only 39 seconds long, and even though I’m a diehard Ferrari fan, my son’s favorite was the orange Lamborghini at the 17 second mark.

Enjoy!

Outplayed!

24 July 07

Perhaps I was too tired. That’s as good an excuse as any. It beats admitting the obvious – I got outplayed.

I waded back into the poker scene recently. A couple good finished in tournaments created a little spark in the tiny bankroll, so I jumped into a very loose 10/20 game at the Muckleshoot. I was bleeding away chips playing good solid poker and losing to suckouts. I was actually happy with that (as opposed to pretending to be happy) because it meant they were willing to play to the river with crap. As long as I could get my premium hands to hold up, the money would come.

Sitting on A7 in the big blind, I call a raise and 4 of us see a flop of As-10h-6d. I’m first to act so I bet. Good player #1 raises and good Player #2 flat calls. My A7 hits the muck as fast as I can fling it.

At the river, #1 had a just a pair of 10s and #2 had pocket 8s.

As I walked away, I knew I got outplayed. The question is, if I discount collusion (if they were colluding, the correct move from #2 would have been a flop re-raise), can I give credit to #2 for thinking:

a. He (meaning me) might lay down top pair here.

b. Realizing that Player #1s flop raise was a move against me (as opposed to a real hand).

I think the answer to #1 is no, but #2 is possible. I had folded a couple hands on the flop when I was the initial raiser. I was obviously stuck. I think I was playing (or at least perceived to be playing) extra tight, and therefore might be able to be outplayed.

I’m just pleased that I left with a good portion of my bankroll still intact. You can’t outplay me if I’m not there, dammit!

There Will Always be Donkeys

22 July 07

I’ve occasionally thought that the poker boom could not sustain itself. My theory was that the bad players would lose their bankroll and there would be only good players left. There are times when I play where I think everyone must be well versed in poker theory and are as adept at calculating pot odds as they are at picking up on all my tells.

And then there’s yesterday.

Live 6/12 and it’s a typical lose game. There is an early position raise and 4 callers before it gets to me. I look down at 7h-8h and flat call from the button. 6 of us see a flop with two hearts giving me both a flush draw and a straight draw. Bet. Call. Raise. Call. I three bet, and everyone calls.

The turn gives me my flush. Sweet!

It’s a scare card, it checks around to me so of course I bet. I get three callers.

The river is a 4th diamond. Shit. There goes my baby flush. It checks around to me again. I can’t bet, so I dejectedly turn over my cards and wait to hear the bad news.

Muck. Muck. Muck.

What the hell where they calling the turn with?! Were they not scared that at least ONE of the 4 of us already had the flush? Did they not think that whatever outs they might have had were diminished (if not already drawing dead) if another diamond comes on the river?

Long live the donkeys!

Keith Olbermann for President!

20 July 07

‘Scuze me while I go vomit.

So, I just got this email from my buddy Stefan. Here I was thinking he was a like-minded Republican (who is often embarrassed to admit this publicly), and he sends me this email.

First, his note:

No, I am not becoming a stinking hippie, but Bush needs to go. Also, I am not a Hillary fan either. I want to see your reactions.

Olbermann: Go to Iraq and fight, Mr. President
Keith Olbermann says the administration's scapegoating of Sen. Hillary Clinton for the mess in Iraq is unfathomable, and the time has come for President Bush to take responsibility and go fight the war himself.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19859124/from/ET/

And now, my reply:

Regardless of your (or my) feelings about the current administration, if you fell for this load of crap, you are just as deluded as the majority of those that identify themselves as "Liberals."

First of all, politicians do not fight wars. They aren't supposed to fight wars. It would be a bad idea, in fact. We have a separation between soldiers and politicians for a reason. Politicians practice speeches and soldiers practice killing.

Secondly, blaming Hillary is a natural defensive response to being blamed themselves. She, along with the rest of the congress, voted to authorize the war based on the evidence available at the time. They'd do it again. The majority of Americans believed it was just.

Finally, the thrust of his column is a letter from Mr. Edelman (an undersecretary of defense) to Sen. Clinton. In the letter, he asks her to stop calling for a redeployment because it emboldens the enemy and endangers the Iraqis who have helped us. This just parrots what the administration has been saying all along, and it's based on advice from the military leaders on the ground. Olbermann agrees with a spokesperson for the senator who says the undersecretary's remarks are, "outrageous and dangerous." He then sites a bunch of non-relevant historical babble in an effort to further his position and make himself sound more like Charles Krauthammer (which he ain't).

Olbermann demanding that the President go fight in Iraq makes good theater, but it really just paints him as an idiot who doesn't understand the political system. Well, let me qualify that. From what I know about Olbermann, he's actually a bright guy. So why take this ridiculous position, you ask? He's doing it to pander to his liberal fan base and motivate the Democrats to "get the bum out of office" so Democrats, who clearly would be able to run the country and the war much better, can take over.

And that's exact what's going to happen.

Now you'll have to excuse me because I've got to pack. I'm headed to Iraq for six months. Then I'm getting out of the Army after 21 years. I'll be watching the Democrats run this country into the ground from the sidelines.

White Cloud

20 July 07

Do you believe that certain people just have good luck?

I am known as having a white cloud at my hospital. This means that when I’m on call, my residents expect that the workload will be light. They are usually right. Certainly, the fact I’m on call has no effect on how many car crashes happen or how many people choose to have a bout of appendicitis, right? Yet, I consistently have the fewest number of emergency cases when I’m on call. My residents love me. I’ve even suspect several residents have changed their call just to be on with me. This may have something to do with me being a little easier to get along with than some other staff physicians, but I’m pretty sure the cloud thing factors into the decision. It’s illogical, but it’s hard to argue with historical fact.

All I’m saying is, if you choose to drive recklessly or engage in an activity that might lead to a hospitalization, first check to see if I’m on call that night. I might be your guardian angel.

Jeez, Would You Look at That!

18 July 07

I did something this morning I don’t normally. I called 911.

Just before I got off at the exit to the hospital, there were two milk trucks right in front of me. These were the huge tractor-trailers, each with two of the large silver cylinders in tandem. Truck #1 in the middle lane drifted to the right and crashed into Truck #2 in the far right lane causing him to skid over onto the shoulder. This happened immediately in front of me, and I think I peed a little.

Amazingly, they both recovered and kept driving. In fact, Truck #1 actually sped up! I’m certain he was falling asleep at the wheel. I hope he was speeding up so that he could get off the next exit, but I doubt it. Hence the call to 911.

Let’s hope the Washington State 911 is as good as the one my sister worked with in Florida and they get this guy off the road before he kills someone. That’s an awfully big truck to be smashing into things.

Oh yeah. Congrats to Jerry Yang on winning the Main Event of the 2007 WSOP, and further congrats to the guys over at www.pokernews.com . Having Dr. Pauly’s comments interlaced with the hand histories was brilliant, and I really likely the “Show This Hand” feature. Cool stuff.

Military Posturing

17 July 07

Thanks again to Judy for this one.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again, to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Hide” to “Run & Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

The Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday but have said that the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.

Yeah, but he’s My Boss

16 July 07

The Sunday morning tournament I usually play was on hold yesterday because it was the freeroll tournament for regulars. Unfortunately, hours spent during tournaments don’t count, so I didn’t qualify. Why don’t my tourney hours count, dammit? The house makes money off of my buy-in (15%)! Has anyone else experienced this?

So instead, I take the amount I would normally use to buy in and see if I can run it up in a live game. My buddy Andrew and I both bought in to a typical loose 4/8 game. Now, I should mention that I call Andrew my buddy, but I’m really his boss. He is a Major and I’m a Lieutenant Colonel. I rate him. We are both Army doctors so isn’t as big a deal as if we were, say, Infantry. But it’s still out there.

Bottom line – it was an 8/16 kill pot and I cracked his Aces with 8h-6h. I had much joy dragging a huge pot, and he was good natured about it. Well, he was on tilt and donked away the rest of his buy in quickly after that, but at least he was smiling. We talked about the hand afterward and both agreed that we played it correctly. Sometimes donkeys (i.e. ME) catch cards. In the long run, you WANT idiots holding 8h-6h to call your pocket aces. In the short term though, it doesn’t feel so good.

Should the fact that I’m his boss factor into any of this? I’ve already written his annual review (outstanding, BTW). I’m certain the dollar amount is inconsequential. It wasn’t a home game and he did not feel compelled to play with me.

WSOP News

14 July 07

For those of you who aren’t following the minute to minute updates at www.pokernews.com, you may have missed this gem from BJ Nemeth:

BJNemeth
With 72 Players Left, A Chop Would be Worth 9th-Place Money
With 72 players left, there is still $37,866,039 left in the prizepool. If everyone agreed to chop the rest of the money, each player would receive $525,917. By comparison, ninth place is worth $525,934 -- just $17 more. The numbers just get more compelling.

Interesting idea. I doubt the suits at Harrah’s or ESPN would allow it, but could they stop it if all the players agreed?

Bad Day

12 July 07

This one is for Iggy. Hopefully this will cheer him up after getting hacked.

I had a really bad day last week. I inadvertently rear ended a van.

When we pulled over and got out, imagine my surprise when I discovered that the other driver was a dwarf.

As he approached with a sour look on his face, he looked up at me and said, "I am not happy!"

God help me, I couldn't help myself. I asked him, "Well then, which one are you?"

That's when the fight started.

It’s Not Cheating if…

11 July 07

I played in the big racquetball tournament at LA Fitness yesterday and took 3rd place. My first game was a barnstormer. I won 15 to 14 and we both had multiple match point attempts before a miss-hit from my opponent set up an easy kill shot for me.

Here is my problem. When the match was 13 to 12, he won a point. It was one of our typical long rallies, and I’m pretty sure he was serving. It makes a difference, because if I was serving, I lose the serve. If he was serving, he gets the point. We discussed it briefly and he said he was pretty sure that it was just change of serve. I stopped arguing and went on to win the match.

But I don’t feel right about it.

I’m famous for calling penalties on myself (perhaps a throwback to my golfing days). If there is ever a question about a point, I’m always the first one to suggest we either play it over or I’ll concede the point without contest. I really feel like I didn’t fight this one hard enough, and the problem is that I think it’s because I wanted to win so badly.

Shouldn’t it be enough that it was a great game, win or lose?

Mom Should Be More Like Jenna Jameson

9 July 07


The title of this post was a line spoken by my 9 year old son last night before bed. After a moment of stunned silence and another moment to compose myself, I calmly replied that, while I agreed with the comment, perhaps he could further elaborate.

Apparently, Ms. Jameson is now romantically involved with Ultimate Fighting Champ Tito Ortiz, who happens to be the coolest, most awesomest fighter ever, donchaknow.

And why should Mommy be more like Ms. Ortiz (AKA the most successful porn star ever)?

Because Jenna totally digs the UFC, of course.

Thanks, son. I’ll be sure to tell Mommy.

Bad Beats and Other Nonsense

8 July 07

I’m checking in regularly with the folks over at Pokernews to get my daily fix of World Series of Poker action. Last night saw a player go all in on the river with quad 8s only to get called by another player with a straight flush.

Say it with me… Live Poker is So Rigged.

On another note, we just purchased a 3rd car last night. The Wallup in Puyallup was having its annual mega used car sale. We’ve been talking about getting a car for our new Brazilian Au Pair (nanny). It turns out that she’s getting a 1997 Subaru Outback. They were asking $8000 and we got them down to $5025 – well below Kelley Blue Book of $7330. We put the whole thing on the credit card so we will get the free miles out of it. I’m pretty sure that gives us enough for a return trip to Hawaii. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Time Gets Short

6 July 07

Sorry for the lack of posting. Things here have been busy. We are down to 7 physicians (we are supposed to have 19), and all of us are basically in work-go home-go back to work mode. Poker, golf and life have pretty much taken a back seat. I still play racquetball once a week, and I qualified for the tournament again. Unfortunately, I’m playing the #1 seed in the first round, and I’ve never beaten her.

That’s right. I got beat by a girl. You have a problem with that?

Actually, she won the whole thing last time, too. She’s the only woman in the league, and she never hits the ball hard. She just doesn’t make mistakes. I’m glad she’s not a poker player.

Congrats to Michael Craig for making two final tables at this year’s World Series of Poker. If that doesn’t sell your new poker strategy book, I don’t know what will. I know I want a copy. I’ll read it in Iraq. Anthony Holden gave Michael a shout over at Bigger Deal:

With James McManus and Peter Alson already outa here, this year’s contest among poker writers is so far a one-man show, thanks to the major achievement of my pal Michael Craig (The Professor, The Banker and the Suicide King) in making two final tables.

Day one of the Main Event starts today. Good luck to all of my friends who are playing. Make the best of that $10,000 investment!

How to Beat America

29 June 07

As I have mentioned many times in the past, I don’t like to get political. I run the risk of letting all who know me find out how ignorant I am on current events. That said, I’m beginning to feel like I’m watching the decline of my great nation. I wish it were just one thing I could put my finger on and say, “Ah ha! This is the problem.” If it were that easy, someone smarter than me would have already figured it out and fixed it (I hope).

Here is the problem as I see it. America is too complacent with its place as the only superpower in the world. Rather than use our vast powers for good, we instead choose to give voice to our detractors and apologize for our bad behavior. This combination of attitudes emboldens others who might not even be enemies, and in fact (I believe) even enables them to become enemies, if only for the profiteering.

Let me illustrate. Right now, Vlad Putin, the chief muck-a-muck in Russia, has surrounded himself with a group of old KGB who are nostalgic for the Cold War days (feel free to draw your own conclusions about the Bush administration). America wants to put a missile shield in Europe. Russia wants a piece of the action.

There are two ways to get what they want. They can ask us nicely and run the risk of us saying no, or they can attack us on the world stage for political decisions made 40 to 60 years ago and hold that out as examples of why America is bad. In this way, America might be embarrassed into giving them what they want.

There is recent historical precedent that this method works. America imposes tough sanctions against Iran and says they shouldn’t build nuclear weapons, but when North Korea proves they actually have nucs, we kowtow to their desires and give voice to their demands.

The risk in all of this is you can’t undo the damage to our reputation. There is a new generation of Russian youth who are beginning to believe that America is bad. To make matters worse, the liberal media in America is turning American youth against our own country!

I’ve said this many times before. America needs better PR. We do great things. We’ve also done bad things. Sure, we need to be less hypocritical – I get it. But maybe if the world were regularly reminded of how benevolent we can be, they’d be less apt to find ways to attack us verbally. Attacking us physically may not be far behind.

Paintjam!

28 June 07

Thanks to Nana Judy for this one.

Paintjam!

Here is the link for my RSS readers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIJtKxdRQzY

300 Posts!

27 June 07

Reflecting back on 300 posts, I can’t help but wonder what it’s all about. I have kept a written diary in the past, but I always lose interest after a few entries. What is it about blogging that keeps me coming back?

Certainly there is the feedback piece of it. Ask anyone who knows me (especially my wife), and they will tell you I have a huge ego, and it is ravenous. Blog comments feed that ego quite nicely, thank you very much.

But, after a while (and after many posts that receive no comments at all), there must be something else to keep me coming back. As most of you know, this blog started out as the chronicles of an amateur poker player, but has morphed into something else. I hope the reason you still read what I say is because you like the “something else.”

I think it’s like a written photo album. I know I get nostalgic when I read old posts. I’m sure I’ll look back on them in the future with fondness. I secretly hope my kids will one day discover this blog and learn a thing or two about their dad.

Anyway, thanks for being out there, dear reader. I hope you stay interested.

WSOP 2007

26 June 07

I’m really missing the World Series of Poker this year. I briefly thought about playing, but work, life and a bad run at poker kind of got in the way. On the flip side, if I had gone, I would have missed a wonderful day yesterday with my kids and their cousins at the Space Needle and the beach here in Washington.

But, if I had gone, I would have seen two buddies make it deep. Pauly cashed in his first WSOP event, taking 119th place out of almost 3000 players. Michael Craig, author of The Professor, the Banker and the Suicide King (of which a signed copy happens to be sitting on my nightstand) is at the final table of a mixed hold ‘em event.

Way to go guys!

Go Pauly Go!

23 June 07

So, I’m catching up on the WSOP and I check on the chip counts for Event 38. Imagine my surprise!



Some notes from the event include these gems:

1 hour 30 minutes ago Posted by change100

Dr. Pauly Doubles Up
Paul "Dr. Pauly" McGuire doubled his stack with the following two hands: McGuire limped from UTG with 8c-9c and along with seven other players saw a flop of 7c-10h-Jh. McGuire bet 275, an early-position player called, a middle-position player raised to 1,000, and McGuire moved all in for 2,000. The EP player folded 7-7, the MP player folded J-10, and McGuire scooped the pot with his flopped straight. On a subsequent hand, McGuire limped on the button with Jd-10d and Bertrand "ElkY" Grospellier checked from the big blind. The flop came jack-high, Grospellier fired out a pot-sized bet, McGuire moved all-in and Grospellier folded. McGuire is now up to 6,000.

And this…

Recent Eliminations
Phil Gordon, and Dutch Boyd have all been eliminated.

That’s right. Our man Dr. Pauly outlasted Phil and Dutch.

Take it down, man!

Occupied!

20 June 07

Apparently this is Rant Month.

Doctors have little special privilege in the Army and, as such, we don’t get our own bathrooms. I have to use the same bathroom as our patients. No big deal.

//rant on//

So I’m taking my morning constitutional this a.m. when there is a loud knock on the door.

BANG! BANG!

I don’t say anything because I’m concentrating on the task at hand, and I figure the locked door speaks volumes.

BANG! BANG!

It’s one minute later. I’m not done yet, so I greet the intruder with silence.

BANG! BANG!

I can take no more. “Occupied!” I reply.

From the other side of the door I hear, “Well, you’ve been in there a long damn time!”

It’s coming from an older male, and I’m sure he has a need. I could care less at this point. This is MY time.

“Feel free to come in here and wipe my ass then! I’m almost done!”

There was no one outside the door when I walked out.

//rant off//

I Am Not a Slave Owner!

19 June 07

Follow on my rant about not being a meth addict comes this post about white guilt. My son was playing the final game of his basketball season last night. His team is predominantly white. The opposing team was predominantly black. The 9 to 11 year old league has a rule that says all players must play. The opposing coach only played his good players while our coach (a 20 year veteran of the police force) played every one.

Coach Steve also has a sense of fairness, and he’d finally had enough. In the 4th quarter, he called over the other coach and spoke with the league director about the discrepancy. The opposing coach replied (loud enough for everyone to hear), “Man, I ain’t following that cracker rule!”

Our coach’s eyes bulged out, but no one said anything. The opposing coach continued to play only his best players and they went on to win by 2.

Here is my point. Our entire team (parents included) was embarrassed or afraid to call out the other coach on an obvious racial slur. I cannot possibly imagine suggesting a rule favored blacks – especially while using a slur that denigrates black people!

Why didn’t anyone say anything? Was there no one on our side willing to step up and say, “Now wait a minute. That’s unfair!”

Nope, and I tell you why. White guilt. Our culture accepts that blacks can slur against blacks and blacks can slur against whites, but it can never go the other way. It’s kind of an impressive example of selling your cause, actually. Okay, I get it. There is inequality in our society. Whites still have it easier than blacks. We are the majority in America. Surely we have some responsibility to acknowledge that minorities have it tougher.

But does that give minorities the right to push the limits? I’m tired of feeling guilty for something I didn’t do.

Turn Up Your Speakers

You Tube continues to punish me for not watching TV. It also rewards me with gems like this.

Goosebumps.

Editors Note: Here is the link for my RSS readers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpokerdoctor%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F

I’m Not a Meth Addict, Dammit!

17 June 07

Seattle is awesome, especially this time of year. Unfortunately, it’s also allergy season. For me, that means Allegra and Flonase. They work like a charm. Like a good and prepared physician, I always have stock on hand for when the itchy-scratchies start up. But I ran out. So, not wanting to wait until Monday to get my prescriptions from the hospital, I went to the next best thing. It always works in a pinch, even if it makes me a little jittery.

I’m talking of course about Pseudoephedrine, AKA Sudafed.

//rant on//

So, I go to the local Fred Meyer, and there on the shelf is my relief. But wait, it’s only a card. I have to take this stupid card to the stupid pharmacy before I can get this stupid over the counter medicine. As if that wasn’t enough, I also have to fill out goddamn forms and show two photo ID’s and give my fingerprints. This is f’in nuts!

Drugs are a problem throughout the country, but here in Washington State, we really have a problem with crystal meth. Sudafed apparently is a key ingredient. I’ve walked some nature trails in the area and have seen bunches of empty Sudafed packs lying on the ground.

But this is insane. I’m a physician, dammit! I can prescribe narcotics. I can prescribe drugs you’ve never heard of that will mess you up more than you can possibly imagine. Yet, I’m treated like a criminal for the only stupid drug that will quickly and efficiently stop my sneezing.

The worst part of all this is that I first showed up to the store it was before the pharmacy opened. When I inquired if there was any way someone could take my information and sell me one box, you should have seen the looks I got. I could hear their thoughts.

“Damn tweekers.”

//rant off//

I hope everyone had a Happy Father’s Day.

Bigger Deal

14 June 07

I’ve been keeping a secret.

Okay, it’s not the biggest secret, and most of my readers are already aware.

Here it is.

If you are even the tiniest fan of poker, you have read Big Deal and are aware of Bigger Deal. Furthermore, you must know about the incredible collection of new “bloggers” over at Bigger Deal. It’s kind of an impressive line up including Anthony Holden, Al Alvarez and Lee Jones.

I normally don’t recommend other blogs unless they really have something to offer that is new or different or important.

Bigger Deal is all of this and more. Talk about raising the bar! Plus, I got a little ego stroke after leaving a comment on Holden’s post about poker songs:

Comment from Anthony Holden
Time: June 14, 2007, 4:18 pm
Uh-oh, looks like Dr. Chako beat me to it…

That’s right – Holden was talking about me. It’s like being acknowledged by royalty. Well, maybe not, but it’s cool to me in that “big, dumb fan” kinda way. Head on over and check it out.

More Midlife Crisis Thoughts

13 June 07

Doing the single dad thing while my wife is away on business has given me too much time to think. Of course, that leads me back to the whole, “Holy crap I’m 40!” business.

I was putting my kids to bed last night and, as usual, my oldest asked me to play guitar. He requested my shortest song since I let him stay up WAY past his bedtime to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship on Spike TV.

Don’t tell mom.

The shortest song I know is My Grandfather’s Clock:

My grandfather's clock

Was too large for the shelf,

So it stood ninety years on the floor;

It was taller by half

Than the old man himself,

Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.

It was bought on the morn

Of the day that he was born,

And was always his treasure and pride;

But it stopped short

Never to go again,

When the old man died.

Ninety years without slumbering,

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

His life seconds numbering,

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

It stopped short

Never to go again,

When the old man died.

Great. Another song about mortality.

Random other thought. I was picking up lunch last week, and I was in uniform. I started chatting with a young man at the counter. He was in his 20’s and was curious about military life. When I mentioned that I’m headed to Iraq, he was visibly stunned. “I don’t know what to say. Good luck, I guess.”

I thanked him and kind of casually said the first thing that came to mind. Here is my reply:

"I’m kind of resolved to the whole combat thing now. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. In the end, life is all about experiences, and this should be one hell of an experience."

It was a throwaway sentence, but it kind of rings true, no?

PS. You are a serious geek if this comic makes you laugh. I nearly busted a gut.

Being Aware of Tilt

10 JUN 07

I’ve actually been playing a little poker lately, and I’ve done well in the local tournament. They just expanded their poker room and the daily 11:30 am $35 tournament gets between 40 and 80 people. Who are these people that aren’t working between 11:30 am and 2 pm on a weekday?!

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about tilt. When my stack gets short, I’ve been pushing a little too hard with the “double-up or go-home” mentality. Bad form. There is always someone willing to call me down with bottom pair, leaving me shaking my head and walking away in a huff. Well, at least I don’t have to waste my time at the cashier’s cage.

But, why can’t I be that other guy. If I recognize another player is on short-stack tilt, can’t I call him down with bottom pair and take the rest of his money? Is this move even profitable?

It sure is against me.

Hawaii Trip Report #3

6 JUN 07

This is my third and final trip report. I’ll keep it short and sweet because I have to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. I’m getting promoted! For those of you non-military types, military promotions can be a big thing. My boys will be doing the honors of pinning on the newly acquired Lieutenant Colonel rank (although my youngest may need a little help from mom so he doesn’t drive the pins into my acromion).

For now, please enjoy these photos from our trip.

First off, my “cousin.” We share the same last name but have never met. Would you believe me if I told you he was my father?

Golfing in paradise. This is the Ko’olau Golf Course, and you can see why it’s ranked as #51 in Golf Digests top 100 places you can play.

It takes a real man to drink a fruity drink. There was no alcohol. Honest.

Hawaii Trip Report #2

5 JUN 07

I’m under self-imposed pressure to blog about this before the memories become less clear. Ain’t that just the way of things? Thank goodness for pictures, which I hope to post soon.

After the amazing coincidental meeting with my long lost cousin, my wife and I checked into a fabulous room overlooking the ocean and Mauna Loa Park. The word “idyllic” comes close. Every day was paradise. We often joked about how long we’d have to live there before the perfection of every day became routine. Oh, look. Another rainbow. Meh.

Rather than bore you with details that only my wife and I will find interesting, let me share a few quick things with you:

- If you go to Hawaii, fly to the big island and visit the volcano. At first it seemed flat and uninteresting, but the more we wandered, the more it felt really foreign. It’s almost like we were visiting another planet. You really see the awesome power of nature and if you have a decent imagination, you can hear the explosions and see the lava carving the earth.

- Pauly and Otis have talked about the differences between being a traveler and a tourist. While the former sounds romantic, there is a reason tourism exists, and it’s for people like us. In that vane, if you must do a lu’au, do the one at the Polynesian Cultural Center. Nuf said.

- Buy a Hawaiian shirt at Hilo Hatties. Make sure it’s Rayon. Wear it. You may never get another chance (unless you live in Florida or Vegas).

- Snorkel in Haneuma Bay. Wear SPF 50. Apply it before you leave your hotel room and at least once more during the day. If you want to save a little time and money, rent your snorkel gear before you get there.

- I’m plus/minus about the dinner cruise we took on the Navatek I. It’s a very cool ship and dolphins were racing along the bow. The food was passable (barely), but the guitarist was awesome. There were Hawaiian dancers, too, if you go for that sort of thing.

Here’s an observation. Hawaiian girls have their own beauty, but as a rule, they didn’t do it for me. Give me an Hispanic woman any day. Uh, I mean, my wife outshone them all.*

It all comes down to the epiphany I had while walking on the beach. We all want to be known for something, and this is my something. You can inscribe it on my tombstone, and I intend to use it if I’m ever asked to give a toast:

“Throughout your life, may you know what you’ve got while you’ve got it.”


* She really did.

Bluegrass on Letterman

I'll get back to my Hawaii trip report soon. Please allow me a short detour.

I gave up watching regular TV a long time ago. Most of it was crap anyway. Sometimes, though, you get something like this. Wow. I’m speechless.

Here is the link if the video doesn't work. I've never embedded anything before:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icMTVV5Lwaw&mode=related&search=

Here is what I think I know from the video:

1st banjo -Earl Scruggs – perhaps the greatest banjo player ever and one half of the duo Flatt and Scruggs

2nd banjo -Steve Martin – yes, THAT Steve Martin

Acoustic Guitar -Randy Scruggs

1st Electric Guitar solo -Vince Gill

2nd guitar solo -Albert Lee

Mandolin -Marty Stuart

Harmonica -Gary Scruggs

Not sure about the rest, but I think it's Glen Duncan on fiddle, and I don't know about Dobro. Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong.

You all may not appreciate this as much as me. At least I know Daddy will like it.

Hawaii Trip Report #1

1 June 07

Where to begin?

This was our first trip to Hawaii. A 5 ½ hour plane ride from Seattle is a bit much, but it’s a lot easier without kids. Big thanks to Nancy (my mother-in-law) for coming down here from Wisconsin for the week. My youngest got sick near the end of the trip, and Nancy didn’t complain at all about having to clean up puke from his bed. It was made easier by Jason’s “puke-and-rally gene” (right, Al?) because he was happy as a clam right after relieving himself. It’s hard to be mad in the face of such joy.

We get off the plane and head to Alamo Rental Cars. You must have your own car if you want to do Oahu correctly. Little known tidbit – if you arrive in the afternoon, do not pay for an upgrade to your rental car. Most of the economy cars are gone in the morning, so all they have left are the nicer ones, which they give you for the same price. We got a Trailblazer, which was quite nice. We headed to our hotel, the Prince Hotel on Waikiki, a 5-star humdinger where we were one of only two other non-Asian groups. That’s not much of an exaggeration.

Small world story. As I’m checking in, they ask for my last name. I say, “Chako,” and they reply, “John?” Sorry, my first name is Chuck (most people reading this blog know my real name, but since it’s out there for all to see, I stick with the nom de plum Dr. Chako).

Anyway, I’m surprised to see someone else listed at the hotel with the same last name. Since I have no relatives named John, it’s a weird coincidence. Imagine my surprise when the guy standing next to me hands over his credit card and I happen to see the name – it’s John! I introduce myself and as I’m shaking his hand, his wife remarks that we look a lot a like. It’s uncanny, really. John is the same age as my dad, and if he and my dad were standing next to each other and someone asked you to pick my father, I think you’d have a tough time.

We started comparing notes. Turns out there are tons of similarities.

- Both of our families are from Russia.
- Both families came to the US in the early 1900’s but were turned away at the border and forced to go to Canada.
- Both of our families moved to the states at the earliest possibility – his to Minnesota and mine to New York.

His grandfather was named George. I had a great uncle named George, but we know all of George’s offspring, and there are no Johns in there. There is a possibility that George had kids from a mistress, but no one in my family can confirm this. I asked John for more details, but he says that he doesn’t know anymore. I’m guessing we may be second cousins once removed. At most, we are 3rd or 4th cousins. Amazing.

Next – Waikiki, Diamondhead, Luau’s and throwing my wife into an active Volcano.

Hawaii 2007

Just got in from our 50th state. Incredible. I'll have more tomorrow. Right now I must sleep.

Note to Ryan - they only made one of my wife. Sorry, no clones available.

Douglas Adams

23 May 07

I am off to Hawaii. Don’t be a hater.

Before I go, I want to share something with you. Years ago, I heard someone say how much they loved the internet, because, with nothing to do, you could find yourself in a new an unexpected place and be fascinated. The math geek over at xkcd.com did a comic about it recently called The Problem with Wikipedia where he researched the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and ended up three hours later looking at Batman and a wet t-shirt contest.

Today I had a little time to kill. One of my favorite activities is looking at famous quotes. In fact, when I started this little blog, I tried to include good quotes at the end of each post.

Fasten your seatbelts. I’m gonna post a bunch of Douglas Adams (11 March 1952 - 11 May 2001) quotes. He wrote the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy among many other great works. Enjoy.

I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.

I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.

"A suffusion of yellow." (A calculator's response to the question of any math problem with an answer larger than four.)

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.

(On Religion) Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

And finally, three quotes on Learning:

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Shut Up and Deal

22 MAY 07

I’m re-reading Shut Up and Deal by Jesse May. The pages are literally falling out of the book. This is due to a combination for poor book binding and the fact that I’ve read this damn book 4 times. It’s a good story and an interesting read, mostly because it’s written as if someone was speaking into a tape recorder. If you can get past the loose style you find two things:

It’s a good read.
It’s a GREAT instruction book.

Here is the partial review from Amazon:

May's speedy, coming-of-age debut unfolds in the insular, all-male world of high-stakes professional poker, where staying in the action is everything and money is just a way of keeping score. Narrator Mickey, who joins the pro circuit at the age of 21, is surrounded by a large cast of eccentrics with stereotypical nicknames like Vinnie the Greek, Fresca Kid and Uptown Raoul.

I know that calling this an instruction book seems silly, especially given that instruction was not the intention. There are plenty of other books that talk about how to play specific hands and calculating pot odds. What’s different here is that you get to hear how a professional thinks. You learn about identifying leaks, whether they be in the “pit” or in your own generosity. You learn that all pros get broke and what they do to recover. You learn about what it takes to make it in this world. It’s dirty and raw and exciting and gut-wrenching and surreal and you just want more.

I’ve tried to do some research on the author, Jesse May. The book is written in the first person perspective of Mickey, the protagonist. If you click the link above, you go to the Wiki entry on Jesse, which says that he actually played in a televised episode of Late Night Poker under the pseudonym of Mickey Dane. Apparently, Jesse is now (or at least was) the host of said show.

I played a little medium stakes poker at the Borgata and the Taj in Atlantic City, and I had a copy of the book with me. Several players spotted it and said they not only knew Jesse, but that he played in there occasionally. I wish he was there to ask him how much of the book was personal experience and how much was made up.

If it was mostly made up, then it’s one helluva tale. If it’s all from first hand true experience, it’s even better.

War as a Vacation?

18 MAY 07

I’m headed to Iraq. This is old news by now.

In the meantime, I was asked to take over as the chief of staff for my department. The prior chief of staff (my boss) is currently in Iraq, and I will replace him when I go.

Being the chief is a big job. I have so many balls in the air, it’s a wonder no one has called for my head. If you let it, this job will get to you.

I just got an email from the prior chief. Here is an excerpt:

Sorry I haven't been more communicative, there just isn't much news. The security situation is very, very secure so long as one remains on [the base], which is a huge complex. So far no indirect fire. The pace is very, very laid back -- I actually have time to get a few hours in at the gym every mid-day. I do work 7 days a week, but even with the gym break over lunch I'm still out of the hospital by about 1400-1500. And it's very nice to just be a clinical guy -- no particular extra leadership responsibilities and when I go home at the end of the day, it's not with the feeling that I've left some project, issue, or task that will be waiting for me to tackle when I return. You can't put a price on that. It's a nice little Sabbatical.

No indirect fire? Working 7 days a week? Sabbatical?

Sign me up!

Oh wait, they already did.

Dr. Chako’s Dad Explains Everything

17 MAY 07

Editors Note: I’m letting out a poorly guarded secret here. The radio host, author, occasional commenter and guest poster Hunter Silvastorm is also my dad. Here he responds to my post from yesterday regarding child rearing. Enjoy.

Dear Dr. Chako,

Guilt, Corporal Punishment, Family Values, Child Rearing, Priorities, and Jerry Falwell. One has to admire the diversity that you manage to cram into a single blog.

The folks who respond to this blog might, therefore, represent an equally diverse mind set. I wouldn't be surprised to read comments from psychologists, Baptists, secular progressives, clergy, teachers, Ellen Degeneras, Neils Bort, Terence Satherwaite (creator of the Tele-Tubbies), Rosie O'Donnell, Rudi Guiliani, and Martin Sheen.

However, if you were to tier this list into a hierarchy of "who-might-come-closest-too-hitting-the-Bulls-Eye," I would have to place myself at the top of the heap. My reason, of course, is simple.

I am your Father and, by extension, the Grandfather of Jared, who, to remind the readers, is the young man who was subjected to the humiliation of having to call home to explain his classroom disruptions.

Similar to a belt, a switch, or locking a child in a closet for 3 days, humiliation is just another tool of discipline. Although the child may view it as a fate worse than death, it is far more effective than physical torture. (Just look at the poor Muslims of Abu Ghraib Prison who were forced to disrobe in front of a woman). Far from The Rack or the old Buried up to your Chin in the Ant Hill routine, psychological punishment is still most effective. Consequently, my grandson learned a valuable lesson without the need for Band-Aids, stitches, or emergency organ replacement.

And speaking of psychological punishments, I would like to share a tale of my child rearing experiences that involved the author of this blog, Dr. Chako.

When he was merely six-years old, he broke one of my Rules of the House. Specifically, he missed a dinnertime curfew by one full minute. Hence, I needed to come up with an appropriate punishment. I thought about locking him in that special part of the root cellar, the one with the really big spiders and their funnel webs, but I knew that his blood curdling screams wouldn't do much more than keep me up through the night. I thought about hog-tying him and hanging him upside down from one of the rafters on our front porch, but that would only serve to upset the neighbors. Ultimately, I made the decision to let 6-year old Dr. Chako decide his own fate.

"Do you have any idea what's going to happen to you now," I said sternly.

"No," blubbered Dr. Chako, tears streaming down his face.

"Well," I said, "you go into your room, close the door, and think about what sort of punishment I should give you."

Nodding his little head, he went into his room and closed the door. In a few minutes, there were heart-wrenching wails of deep anguish coming from his room. I, of course, nodded confidently, knowing that this psychological tactic was perfect. Soon, he emerged and stood before me.

I said, "Have you decided what punishment I should give you for being late for dinner?"

He nodded affirmatively, but was crying so hard that he could not yet speak.

"Then tell me. What should I do to you?"

Mustering up all his strength and trying desperately to stop his frightened quivering, he said, "You're just going to have to kill me, Dad."

Putting Jerry Falwell aside for just a moment, perhaps we should think twice about the long term effects of psychological punishment. Of course, if you have read Dr. Chako's blog, and his sister's comment, you will also wonder about the long term effects of a father's mantra, "School is the single most important thing you have to be concerned with."

Hunter Silvastorm

P.S. to view a photo of Dr. Chako, his family and his sister, go to or click on the following website:

www.huntersilvastorm.com

Can’t You Just Hit Me with a Stick?

16 MAY 07

Perhaps this is something best left for the parents over at Joe Speaker’s new digs Don’t Forget to Flush. As a proud Republican (neglecting for the moment the passing of Moral Majority leader Jerry Falwell, who attributed 9/11 to God’s punishment of the U.S. for our immorality), I am a proponent of shame as a useful tool for discipline. There may be plenty of Democrats out there who share this belief, but it seems to fit more with the core values of Republicans. It has to because we can’t use corporal punishment anymore. Unfortunately, a few wayward folks actually liked beating kids and gave the rest of us a bad name.

Fast forward to yesterday. There is a message on my answering machine:

Female Voice: Hello, Dr. and Mrs. Chako? This is Ms. Harvey, Jared’s 4th grade teacher. He has something to tell you.

Sound of phone transferring over to a distraught 9 year-old.

Jared (sobbing): Mom and Dad? I was being very disruptive in class. I was not paying attention in reading group and I didn’t stop when Ms. Harvey asked me too. This is really bad for me and it keeps others from learning. I’m really sorry.

The phone transfers back to Ms. Harvey

Ms. Harvey: If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call.

Now that’s what I call discipline, and led me to the title of this post. How terrible it must have been for my son to leave that message.

Good.

Of course, this leads to a whole other problem. When Mom and I had the stern talk with our son last night, I was forced to quote my dad:

Son, school is the single most important thing you have to be concerned with.

For those of you not related to me, that quote certainly must seem like sage advice. If you happen to be from the Chako clan, that quote will give you shivers and may make you hurl. We heard this as kids more times than you would believe. I SWORE I would never repeat it to my kids. I’ve used variations in a lame attempt to saying something close, but not exact.

So much for that. You can’t change the perfection of a simple, concise message. Thanks a lot, Dad.

Ultraloose Play

15 MAY 07

First off, my trip to New Jersey was excellent. Montclair and West Orange have a… feeling – you know what I mean? While it doesn’t hold an appeal to me, I can certainly see why people are drawn there and call it home. I guess being from a similar town in upstate NY gives me that perspective.

I got to see my favorite cousin Jarel (see image), but it was only briefly. He’s starring in a play called The Nerd (about my life?) in Binghamton, NY and had to leave right after the Bat Mitzvah to get back to the theater. I cannot imagine the life of a working actor. It’s awesome that he’s pursuing his dream. Too bad I didn’t get to ask him if he’s experiencing a similar mid-life crisis. He turns 40 in October.

There is nothing like family to make you feel special. Everyone knew about my upcoming deployment to Iraq and were full of praises for my military service and genuine concern for me and my family.

Anyway, enough about me. You came here for the awesome poker content.

You are at an extremely loose 10/20 LHE table. There are two very aggressive players at opposite ends of the table and a bunch of pissed off players in the middle hell bent on busting those assholes. There have been at least four 6-way capped pots preflop and you just got here. Unfortunately, you got caught up in it when your set lost to a runner-runner rivered straight from a guy holding 3s-5d, and now you are nursing a dwindling bankroll.

You look down at As-Kd under the gun. Knowing it’s gonna be ugly, what is your play here? Do you limp knowing someone else will raise? Do you just raise anyway?

Does anyone fold here?

New Jersey Bound

No post today. I'm off to a Bat Mitzvah in Joisey. It will be good to get back to my roots.

We’ve Gone to the Dogs

10 MAY 07

The title of this post incidentally refers to my poker game, but it also means we have a new addition to the Chako family. My sister is on her way to Korea with the Air Force (good luck, sis!) and so we are watching her dog, Macy. Macy is a mean, viscious, snarling, nasty dog who hates kids.

Look out! She’s gonna attack!

I’ve got him right where I want him.

And yet, my kids still want to jump for joy.

Happy Birthday, Iggy!

9 May 07

Happy 40th Birthday, Iggy!

Welcome to the club.

vs.

8 MAY 07

I have competing interests. Recently, I began an aggressive weight loss program and have been relatively successful. One thing that helped was joining a racquetball league, which meets Tuesday nights.

My son, who is 9, just joined a basketball league, which, you guessed it, also meets on Tuesdays. I thought about having him change teams, but his buddies are also on the team and he really likes his coach.

Combine this with two other recent things that seem minor, but really aren’t. Jared asked me to play wiffle ball yesterday. He actually said, “I want to hang out with you. Can you pitch to me?”

Add this to my evening ritual. Every night I give my kids a choice between having me read a story or sing a song. For months now, my 4 year old wants me to read and my 9 year old wants a song. He’s been on a Dan Fogelberg kick lately (Leader of the Band), but I do a pretty good rendition of Cat’s in the Cradle.

My son turned ten just the other day.

He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.

Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,

I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."

And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,

He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.

You know I'm gonna be like him."

So much for racquetball.

Monday

7 MAY 07

I was in a foul mood until I read my horoscope:

Aries March 21 - April 19
Your drinking is beginning to drive your friends and loved ones away from you, making you wish you'd thought of it much earlier.

God, I love The Onion.

Donked around in a tournament this weekend with my buddy Andrew. 60 players and we both made the final table. If it wasn’t for our last-longer prop bet, I might have been out sooner. Unfortunately for him, he made an aggressive raise, only to be called by the chip leader with stupid cards. Out he went in 8th. I was right behind in 7th. That same chip leader called a big raise from me earlier with 7s-6d and flopped the nut straight. Oh well.

Didn’t feel like driving out to the ‘shoot, so I sat in a 6-12 game at Freddie’s. Played extra tight because I was hoping they’d start a bigger game. No such luck. Finished dead even. Too bad I pissed away $100 at 4/8 waiting to get into the game. I have no business playing the lower limits. I lost three consecutive hands to 2-4, 2-5 and 3-6. All off-suit. You'd a thought I was playing against myself!

Friggin’ donktastic.

Dr. Pauly just published the WSOP schedule. I know I could look it up on the official site, but I’m lazy. Man, there are some juicy events. Who's going?

Truckin's Up!

6 MAY 07

What the hell are you doing reading me on a Sunday?! Go check out the latest issue of Truckin’. It’s a better way to spend your time.

Oh yeah. Don’t forget that Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I’m thinking of this.

Note to the wife (an occasional reader) – don’t click on the link. You’ll ruin the surprise. Seriously.

Dr. Chako Cures Knee Pain!

5 MAY 07

Today you will get the benefit of knowing a poker-playing Army doctor. In honor of shaving 30 seconds off of my three mile run this morning, I want to share with you something I learned from the Army training guide. Back when I was enlisted and doing PT (physical training) 3 to 5 days a week, the sergeant in charge would line us up and run us through a series of stretches before our exercise. Some of the stretches hurt, so I knew they were working. Others, like the stretch below, didn’t feel like they were doing anything.

If I could give you one stretch to do every day, it would be this one.

Here is the simple explanation. The VMO (Vastus Medialis Obliquus) is not exercised in normal walking and running. This stretch not only loosens the ankle and knee ligaments, it targets the VMO. This provides balance to the muscles surrounding the knee.

Balance is good.

Editors Note: I just read the Wiki page linked above, which seems to refute my claim about the VMO. All I know is, this exercise works. It also may combat Chondromalacia and Patellofemoral Syndrome.

Oh yeah – happy Cinco de Mayo! Gotta love a holiday that celebrates beating the French.

Happy Tilt

4 MAY 07

I was pissed yesterday. I was trying to pull into traffic after taking my dog to the vet. Some blue-haired bitch in a Lexus could have easily let me in, but instead she chose to pull her car right up to the bumper of the car in front of her. She actually lifted her nose in defiance!

I started honking my horn at her. She had plenty of room to back up. Wasn’t happening.

Finally, I got her to turn her head and look at me. I gave her the biggest smile I could and started waving like some happy maniac. To be honest, it was my complete intention to get her to smile and then switch my face over to the, “I’m gonna kill your whole family" look and start cussing and spitting at the window.

But I found a better solution. She looked perplexed. I could hear her thoughts. Do I know this guy? Did I just cut off one of my clients? Does he know my husband?

I had her right where I wanted her.

I finally got behind her and was able to catch up. I pulled right along side and kept up my wave-and-smile bit.

Here is my thinking. If I cursed her out, somehow I feel she would have driven away feeling superior and chalked up a win in the Lexus vs. BMW contest. Now, I think she’ll be bothered by this all week. And who knows, maybe next time she let me in.

I win!

MAY DAY!

1 MAY 07

In honor of the day and the title of this post, I was thinking about tilt. For once, acknowledging tilt saved me money. I was playing last night and got up early at a 10/20 table featuring a couple regulars in the 50/100 game. You can be sure there will be many multi-way capped pots, and they didn’t let me down. I played good, solid poker and let the cards do the work until two consecutive opponents won big pots with the exact same hand.

9 4 off-suit.

I turned to LV, a regular and also active duty Army (like me) and remarked how I donked away a bunch of chips the last time morons sucked out like that. I noted that I failed to adjust my strategy for the table-tilt, and I vowed I wouldn’t do it again.

I walked away up a buy-in.

How can it be that the pros don’t tilt? Surely that’s what separates the men from the boys,* right?

It turns out, even Daniel Negreanu goes on tilt.

* You know how they are always talking about what separates the men from the boys? I’ll tell you what separates the men from the boys. The sodomy laws. – George Carlin

Editors Note: Apparently, the Card Player link died when Daniel put up a new post. Here is a link to the same tilt-related post on his FCP website. Sorry, but it may not be accessible from your work computer. I sure can’t get it on mine, so I’m posting this from home.